IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some people believe that governments should pay full course fees for students who want to study in universities. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? (rewrite)

#people #governments #course #fees #students #study #universities
There is ongoing debate about whether the
government
 should cover the full cost of university
education
 for
students
.
While
 some argue that
students
 should bear the costs themselves, I believe that
government
 funding of higher
education
 is a long-term investment that will yield significant benefits for the nation.
This
 essay will discuss the reasons why I support
government
-funded
education
. First and foremost,
education
 is essential in today’s world, and it should be considered a public good that the
government
 funds. A well-educated population contributes to the nation’s economic and social development.
For instance
, in countries like Australia, where the
government
 provides free
education
, citizens have the opportunity to gain in-depth knowledge in their chosen fields, which ultimately benefits the country’s growth and innovation.
Furthermore
, I believe that
education
 should be accessible to everyone, not just the wealthy. In many countries,
students
 from low-income families struggle to afford higher
education
, which perpetuates inequality. In Thailand,
for example
, there has been a significant decline in university enrollment
due to
 financial constraints. By funding higher
education
, the
government
 can ensure that all
students
, regardless of their economic background, have the opportunity to pursue their academic and career goals. In conclusion,
while
 some may argue that
students
 should pay for their
education
, I firmly believe that the
government
 should play a major role in funding higher
education
. By doing so, the
government
 can promote equality, enhance national development, and ensure that all citizens have access to the
education
 they deserve.
Submitted by kamonluck1999 on

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task response
Your response to the task is strong. You have clearly addressed the prompt and developed a well-reasoned argument. To enhance your response, consider addressing counter-arguments in more detail.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Though your essay is generally coherent, using more transitional phrases and connectors can help maintain a seamless flow.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and succinct, effectively framing your essay and providing closure.
task response
You effectively used relevant and specific examples, such as references to Australia and Thailand, to support your points.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is logically structured with clear main points and supporting details, making it easy to follow and understand.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Higher education
  • University tuition
  • Public good
  • Economic growth
  • Fiscal responsibility
  • Merit-based scholarships
  • Need-based grants
  • Socioeconomic status
  • Educational equity
  • Income-contingent loans
  • Graduate tax
  • Financial aid
  • Student loans
  • Subsidize
  • Taxpayer funding
  • Underappreciation
  • Workforce development
  • Access to education
  • Higher learning institutions
  • Government expenditure
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