Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work. in another country if they wish, Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

There are several points of
views
Fix the agreement mistake
view
show examples
about what professionals
such
as doctors and engineers should do after they have graduated from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
university. Some people believe that it's necessary for professionals to
work
in their home
country
, others suggest that it should be a personal decision and if
doctor
Add an article
the doctor
a doctor
show examples
wants to live and
work
abroad, he can do it. In my writing
task
Add a comma
task,
show examples
I would like to compare
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
opinions by giving pros and cons. I will present as well my own opinion
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
this
topic.
Firstly
, working in
home
Correct pronoun usage
my home
show examples
country
will be a purpose of developing in
this
sphere. It will be really useful if all the doctors after university
will
Verb problem
apply
show examples
work
according to
their profession, because of
positive
Correct article usage
the positive
show examples
impact on
improvement
Correct article usage
the improvement
show examples
local
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of local
show examples
health care and infrastructure. Another point will be about staff storage. Now in my
country
there
not
Add a missing verb
are not
show examples
enough specialists in
educational
Correct article usage
the educational
show examples
sphere.
For instance
, in my school all
teachers
Correct article usage
the teachers
show examples
are old because attentional new teachers, especially after university don't like the conditions of working (small salary, no perspectives), that's why professionals try to find
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
with suitable conditions abroad. In
this
context it's necessary for
government
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the government
show examples
to present convenient terms
it
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
will help with the leaving flow of the workers.
On the other hand
, students have their rights and that's why they can
work
everywhere if they want, and
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
shouldn't prohibit them
to leave
Change preposition
from leaving
show examples
the
country
. The second argument is that for the
country
in which
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
will
work
it's good too. Because, when professional workers from all
the
Change preposition
over the
show examples
world practice in one area it will be a good development of
this
sphere, by the
way
Add the comma(s)
way,
show examples
it's
also
will provide making new creative ideas.
To conclude
, it's better
to sum up
all the
argument
Fix the agreement mistake
arguments
show examples
and give an objective decision.
For
Change the preposition
In
show examples
my opinion, the second point of view gives more independence for workers. I agree with
this
statement
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because for me, it's fantastic to have
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
freedom
in making
Change preposition
to make
show examples
decisions and
choosing
Wrong verb form
choose
show examples
lifestyle
Add an article
the lifestyle
a lifestyle
show examples
.
Submitted by viktoria.popova92 on

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task achievement
Your essay should include a clear and concise introduction to the topic and your main points. Currently, it provides a basic introduction but lacks depth.
task achievement
Instead of merely mentioning the pros and cons, develop your paragraphs to explain each point thoroughly and support them with clear examples.
coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next and that paragraphs are internally logical and well-structured.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion should provide a clear summary of your points and restate your opinion in a concise manner. Currently, your conclusion is a bit rushed and doesn't encapsulate your discussion effectively.
task achievement
The essay attempts to tackle both sides of the argument and provides a balanced view before presenting your opinion.
task achievement
You express clear and straightforward ideas which shows a good understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Some main points are well-supported by specific examples, particularly when discussing the local context and providing personal perspectives.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • professionals
  • doctors
  • engineers
  • required
  • training
  • home country
  • cultural
  • linguistic
  • advantages
  • economic impact
  • free
  • another country
  • globalization
  • international collaboration
  • improving
  • skills
  • knowledge
  • experience
  • opinion
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