IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

45.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

#summarise #information #features #comparisons
The maps illustrate significant changes in Paradise Island from the past through to the present. In the past, there was a scientific research station located on the western side.
Moreover
, there was a beach situated in the northwest. South of the beach, there was a small pier only suitable for boats.
Additionally
, the whole centre was unspoiled and had a large natural spring on the east side. Nowadays, there is a hotel complex and swimming pool located in the west.
In addition
, the pier has been extended to be suitable for cruise ships, swimming is permitted at the beach in the northwest and there is a cycle path. In the centre, there is an open restaurant and BBQ area.
Whereas
, in the east, there is a coffee shop located next to a natural spring.
To sum up
, the island has been developed significantly, with the focus now on tourism. To support
this
, the pier has been extended, a hotel complex was built and amenities have been improved.
Submitted by sunnyrogle22 on

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Task Achievement
Ensure your overview provides a clear summary of the information presented in the maps. While you included an adequate overview ("To sum up, the island has been developed significantly, with the focus now on tourism."), the mention of specific features could be more detailed. Next time, also try using a variety of signal words to show changes, comparisons, and progress over time, enhancing the logical structure of your essay.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay has a good structure with clear introduction and conclusion. Nevertheless, incorporating a wider range of cohesive devices and ensuring paragraphs flow smoothly from one to the other would improve coherence. Multiple sentences can be linked with cohesive devices such as 'furthermore', 'in addition', and 'however', to guide the reader more effectively through your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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