Some people think that the government should take care of disadvantaged people such as the unemployed and homeless people. Do you agree or disagree?

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I strongly agree that the government has a crucial role in supporting the population. The reasons for

this

Linking Words

include the authority's capacity to provide social security and well-being of citizens,

This

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responsibility includes providing essential services and support systems that help these individuals meet their basic needs and improve their life system for the betterment of their future. Globalization brings about more and more communities losing their homes and jobs

due to

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the high competition of workplaces

as well as

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machinery and AI technology has brought major role in human life.

Thier

Correct your spelling

Therefore

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

most

nation

Fix the agreement mistake

nations

show examples

lose their jobs

due to

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capitalization. I assume governments can prevent

this

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situation by taking necessary action.One of the primary ways the ministry can support disadvantaged individuals is by establishing and maintaining a social freedom net.These programs should include health and security, welfare, and free education.

On the other hand

Linking Words

provides unemployment benefits to those who lose their jobs, helping them sustain themselves financially.

Linking Words

Moreover

Add a comma

Moreover,

show examples

there is

amount

Correct article usage

an amount

show examples

of communities suffering from health care issues ,

law

Add an article

the law

show examples

should ensure fundamentals to disadvantaged families to avoid

this

Linking Words

situation

for example

Linking Words

. United Kingdom, provides free or low-cost medical services to all citizens, including the unemployed and homeless. governments can prevent health issues from becoming barriers to employment and housing stability To summarize governments can create a prosperous society By providing social freedom nets, addressing homelessness, investing in job training and education, ensuring healthcare access, reducing social inequality, and sharing equal life opportunities among every citizen.

Submitted by agdanush on Tue Jul 30 2024

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task achievement

Your essay presents a clear standpoint, and the introduction sets a good premise for the discussion. However, your arguments could benefit from more concrete and relevant examples. You only mentioned the UK in passing, without sufficient detail.

coherence cohesion

Ensure clarity by checking for any grammatical errors and better structuring sentences. For instance, restructure sentences like 'Thier for most nation lose their jobs due to capitalization.' to 'Therefore, many lose their jobs due to economic nuances such as capitalism.'

introduction conclusion present

Your essay has a comprehensive introduction and conclusion which encapsulate your points well.

logical structure

You have a logical flow between paragraphs and clear linking words.

supported main points

Some points are supported with examples, showing your effort to provide evidence for your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

245 words

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Some people think that the government should take care of disadvantaged people such as the unemployed and homeless people. Do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

In many countries, a financial crime involving identity theft is increasing. What are the causes of this trend, and what effects does it identity theft has on the victims involved?

Many employees are able to work at home due to modern technology. Some people claim that it can benefit only the workers, not the employers. Is it a positive or negative development?

Zoos are sometimes seen as necessary but poor alternative to a natural environment Is it necessary to keep animals in zoos

Some people think that sport teaches children how to compete, while others believe that children learn teamwork. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion?