IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

More companies are allowing employees to work from home. Is this a positive or negative development?

#companies #employees #work #home #development
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Enabling
workers
Use synonyms
 to
work
Use synonyms
 staying at their homes or from any
distances
Fix the agreement mistake
distance
show examples
 by their employers has become more common.
While
Linking Words
 I admit that
this
Linking Words
 brings about some issues, it is a desirable change
overall
Linking Words
. There are a number of
problems
Use synonyms
 associated with remote
work
Use synonyms
. The first one is that
workers
Use synonyms
 who
work
Use synonyms
 from a distance may be susceptible to feeling lonely and socially isolated.
Due to
Linking Words
 lack of interaction with colleagues, employees may witness
such
Linking Words
 kinds of
problems
Use synonyms
 all of which might cause some health issues
such
Linking Words
 as stress and depression after some period. There are
also
Linking Words
 many technical issues working remotely. These
problems
Use synonyms
 `include a shortage of necessary equipment, weak internet connection in some places and other potential
problems
Use synonyms
 which junior and senior
workers
Use synonyms
 face
while
Linking Words
 working remotely. In my view,
however
Linking Words
, there are more positive sides rather than
its
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
negatives. For one, it reduces expenses. If you want to run a business and hire an employee, you will have to supply office space and some utilities. By giving an opportunity to
workers
Use synonyms
 to
work
Use synonyms
 remotely, company chief executives can save some money and spend
this
Linking Words
 money on other necessary items for the company. Another positive aspect of
this
Linking Words
 trend is its increased productivity. Many studies have shown that remote
workers
Use synonyms
 can be more productive
due to
Linking Words
 fewer office distractions and a more flexible
work
Use synonyms
 environment.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

introduction conclusion present
Ensure that the essay has a clear and defined introduction and conclusion. While your introduction is present, your essay would benefit from a concise concluding paragraph that encapsulates your main points.
relevant specific examples
Use more specific examples to illustrate your points. For example, you could describe how a particular company benefited from remote work or discuss specific studies related to productivity.
complete response
Make sure to address both the positive and negative aspects in a balanced manner. While you did well on this front, dedicating a bit more space to examples of issues companies or employees might face would provide a more comprehensive answer.
logical structure
Your essay maintains a logical and clear structure, making it easy for the reader to follow your arguments and ideas.
supported main points
Your arguments are well-supported with relevant points, especially the discussion on productivity and expenses.
clear comprehensive ideas
You have addressed both positives and negatives, which shows a balanced understanding of the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: