IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Transport preferences among young people in four different countries.

#transport #preferences #people #four #countries
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The bar chart demonstrates how many youngsters prefer different kinds of transportation
such
Linking Words
 as
cars
Use synonyms
, motorcycles and
bicycles
Use synonyms
 in four different countries.
Overall
Linking Words
,
cars
Use synonyms
 are the most preferred type of transport in all four countries,
while
Linking Words
 motorcycles are the least
favored
Change the spelling
favoured
show examples
 in three of the four countries. The figures for
chosing
Correct your spelling
choosing
cars
Use synonyms
 in the UK are the same as in the United States , at 60% and 60%, respectively.
In contrast
Linking Words
, nearly 75% of Italian young citizens opt for
cars
Use synonyms
, a much higher proportion compared to France's 40%.Motorcycle preferences are the same in France, the UK and Italy, at roughly 10%, except for the United States, at 30%. As for
bicycles
Use synonyms
, a bit higher proportion of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people prefer
bicycles
Use synonyms
 in Italy, at 23% compared to the United States , at 20%. In the UK, 30% of youngsters prefer
bicycles
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
 in France, nearly half (47%)
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
 them.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Try to describe the data using more varied expressions and consider mentioning different patterns, such as comparing the popularity of each transport mode in different countries. This will enhance the completeness and clarity of your response.
coherence cohesion
Work on the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs to make the essay smoother. Ensure that each paragraph progresses naturally from the previous one.
coherence cohesion
Add a conclusion to summarise the key points discussed in the essay, reinforcing the main trends and differences in transport preferences.
task achievement
You have included relevant and specific data from the bar chart, demonstrating a good understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, which helps in understanding the distribution of transport preferences in each country.
coherence cohesion
Your use of comparative language (e.g., 'in contrast,' 'compared to') effectively highlights differences and similarities between countries.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: