Many people feel it is a waste of money to try to save endangered animal species, for example, the tiger or the blue whale. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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During the past few
decades
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decades,

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we have been witnessing that some people including even scientists are engaging in many preserving activities on endangered
animals
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who are living in different places in the world.
While
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some people have critics
on
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of

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these programs as
it
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they

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consumes
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consume

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money, others praise the actions taken to rescue the creatures from extinction. I
also
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strongly believe that the
animals
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who contribute to
keep
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keeping

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the
divresity
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diversity

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of natural habitats must be preserved in terms of their role in maintaining the balanced
echo
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eco

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system or their contribution
in
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to

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a sustained food chain and, reproducing is devoted to
keep
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keeping

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the diversity.
Firstly
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, the need
of
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for

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a balanced
echo-system
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echo system

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is vital for all
the
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apply

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animals
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including ourselves to survive in
this
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world
becuase
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because

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it acts as an interdepending process.
This
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nature is closely related to the food chain
in
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of

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which we all are a part.
For instance
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, as vegetarians become food for predators, the existence of vegetarians is solidly related
with
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to

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the survival of their hunters who are living with them in
same
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the same

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habitats.
Secondly
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, the reproducing processes coming with living things entirely
depends
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depend

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on the availability of two opposite mates. If either male or female is missing in their
prides
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pride
feelings of pride
points of pride

It appears that prides is an uncountable noun and should not be made plural. Consider changing the noun.

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, the reproduction is not possible to be taken place. As an example,
white
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a white

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rhino who is living in some parts of Africa has no females to mate
.
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with.

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As a result
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of that their existence has been challenged. In conclusion, even though some
personals
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people

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critisize
Correct your spelling
criticize
criticise

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the programs that
are dealing
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deal

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with rescue missions of endangered
animals
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, based on the cost
that
Correct pronoun usage
they

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can be used for more many meaningful things like health and education. Some others including myself argue that preservation activities must be taken place in terms of the facts described
as
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apply

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in
above
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the above

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two paragraphs.

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task achievement
You have effectively addressed the task in terms of presenting both sides of the argument and providing your own opinion. However, your ideas could be developed more comprehensively. Try to elaborate more on the points you present for even greater clarity and depth.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, some of the points need further elaboration and clarity. Consider using more examples to support your ideas and to make your position clearer. Transitions between paragraphs could also be smoother.
language use
There are some spelling and grammar errors, and occasionally the meaning of a sentence is somewhat unclear due to awkward phrasing. Work on your sentence structures and pay attention to subject-verb agreement. Proofreading your work before submitting it will also help to reduce these errors.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion which helps to frame your argument well.
task achievement
Your main points are relevant to the task and are logically presented.
task achievement
You did well by stating your opinion clearly and supporting it with reasons.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • endangered species
  • biodiversity
  • intrinsic value
  • existential threat
  • ecosystem
  • conservation
  • economic benefits
  • funding allocation
  • competing needs
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