In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
In some cultures, it is a common opinion that children can achieve anything if they strive enough.
This
essay will analyze Linking Words
this
concept's benefits and drawbacks as follows.
On the one hand, many countries, especially in the West, think that Linking Words
this
message has a significant benefit for offspring because it provides positive information. Linking Words
For instance
, many mental experts indicate that cultivating positive emotions in childhood may have more chance of becoming successful. Linking Words
Furthermore
, trying hard to confront unknown challenges is another vitally important factor in being an outstanding adult. Linking Words
Therefore
, these advantages can help children become independent, judicious, and other beneficial elements.
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On the other hand
, Linking Words
although
consistently implanting Linking Words
this
concept can indeed provide some benefits, certain potential detriments are not perceived by parents. Linking Words
For example
, frustration is a serious problem. If offspring usually fail in something Linking Words
such
as poor grades despite that they have worked hard, they might feel more frustrated, and ultimately give to study. A typical example is learning a second language, Linking Words
while
pupils pay a considerate amount of attention to learning it, they still cannot absorb foreign knowledge. In Linking Words
this
case, students continuously suffer from frustration, fall into a vicious cycle, and eventually do not try anymore.
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To sum up
, being taught that striving for something will order a repayment can indeed help pupils establish a healthy attitude to face difficulties, thereby becoming successful. Linking Words
However
, the information may have some risks. Learning exotic languages is a wider example. With gradually accumulating negative emotions, students may not strive with challenges and decrease their salients to learn and Linking Words
finally
give up their subjects.Linking Words
Submitted by daniellin0717 on
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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, attempt to use a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas within and between sentences more smoothly.
task achievement
Try to include more specific and diverse examples to support your main points. This will help illustrate your ideas more clearly and provide stronger proof for your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your essay would benefit from clearer topic sentences at the beginning of paragraphs to better guide the reader through your argument structure.
task achievement
Aim to further develop each main idea with additional details or explanations. This will reinforce your task achievement by providing a more thorough analysis of each point.
coherence cohesion
The introduction effectively sets up the topic and outlines what the essay will discuss.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear conclusion that summarizes the main points of the discussion effectively.
task achievement
The essay includes relevant points on both the advantages and disadvantages, providing a balanced perspective on the topic.
Your opinion
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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?