Creative artists should always be given freedom to express their own ideas (in words, pictures, music or film) in whichever way they wish. There should be no government restrictions on what they do. To what extent do you agree or disagree on this IELTS topic?
The imagination of creative artists knows no
bound
. Lately, the masses argue that artists should be given the freedom to express their ideas Fix the agreement mistake
bounds
however
they like. There should be no outside factors, like governments, that restrict them. Linking Words
Nevertheless
, I think that those people have Linking Words
their
Change the word
the
rights
to convey whatever message. Fix the agreement mistake
right
However
, there should be some limitations to avoid their Linking Words
arts
becoming a negative influence Fix the agreement mistake
art
for
the consumers.
Change preposition
on
To begin
with, creative producers often define their identities by their products. Those arts are their unique way Linking Words
to feel
present and their existence noticed. Passionate producers, Change preposition
of feeling
in particular
, can even convey powerful messages through their ideas. They can become a catalyst for change for other citizens; Linking Words
for example
, by telling hardships they went through and how they did not give up, Linking Words
therefore
becoming a much better person. From my own experience, a friend of mine, who was once an atheist, had an epiphany when he first heard the song "Immanuel" by JPCC Worship, which is a Christian worship band from Indonesia. He, who once did not believe in God, soon was baptized several weeks after the event.
Linking Words
On the other hand
, some people use those talents in really controversial ways. They would tell stories that are so disturbing, they could corrupt the consumer's mind. Linking Words
For instance
, pornography has Linking Words
became
a really major problem and it has corrupted over 75% of young adults Change the form of the verb
become
for
at least once, Change preposition
apply
according to
Linking Words
a
research done in 2024. Another example is Correct article usage
apply
contents
that Fix the agreement mistake
content
involved
gore, like shooting and torturing. In my country, a school shooting had once Wrong verb form
involves
occured
Correct your spelling
occurred
due to
the fact that one of the students was so obsessed with shooting games, Linking Words
he
tried to recreate one of the scenes in the games he played.
In conclusion, the creativity of humanity should be respected, as without Correct pronoun usage
that he
them
, we cannot improve. Correct pronoun usage
it
Nonetheless
, when expressing those imaginations, there should be some restrictions so as to protect residents, especially young adults, from becoming negatively influenced. One example is to put age restrictions in some contents.Linking Words
Submitted by riani.the2 on
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Task Achievement
The response is relevant and addresses the prompt effectively. However, it would benefit from a clearer statement about your extent of agreement or disagreement in the introduction or conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph clearly relates back to the main argument. Some points could be more directly connected to your main contention.
Task Achievement
The essay includes specific examples, such as the impact of the song 'Immanuel' and the reference to pornography affecting young adults, which effectively support your arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
There is a clear introduction and conclusion that effectively frame the discussion, providing a nice structure.
Coherence and Cohesion
The ideas are expressed well with logical progression and connection between points, especially in illustrating both supportive and critical views on artistic freedom.