Creative artists should always be given freedom to express their own ideas (in words, pictures, music or film) in whichever way they wish. There should be no government restrictions on what they do. To what extent do you agree or disagree on this IELTS topic?
Artists
around the world have the capability to identify various trends and ideas to extend and show the world numerous creative movies, music and many forms of writing. Although
some might argue that they should be given the freedom to express their own ideas without any boundaries from the government, I believe that there should be restrictions
made for viewers' purposes.
First of all, when rules and warnings are made, the risk of inappropriate behaviour can become more significant and critical, such
as killing. When these forms of movies are planted without rules like age restrictions
, children are likely to act out and take examples from what they have seen. It could be dangerous as , without these restrictions
, inappropriate and violent pictures of movies can be accessed by underage and uneducated people easily. This
could be deadly as giving too much freedom to these artists
can affect viewers in ways that are unable to be controlled and could set off undesirable behaviours.
On the other hand
, these artists
are likely to reduce their imagination as it is limited by rules given by the governments. This
way, it could be hard for creative artists
to create extraordinary pieces to be showcased to the world. It could be very crucial for the entertainment industry if viewers are uninterested and unable to receive the artist's full potential and imagination.
To conclude
, even though artists
have the right and freedom to produce and create something outside the box, I still believe that restrictions
should be made by governments to manage the civilizations' well-being and avoid unwanted behaviours.Submitted by riani.the2 on
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coherence/cohesion
To further enhance coherence, try to use more varied linking phrases to connect your ideas smoothly. For example, instead of frequently using 'on the other hand' or 'first of all,' explore synonyms and related phrases to provide variety.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points. Instead of general statements, consider adding a real-world example or specific scenario that illustrates your argument more vividly and convincingly.
coherence/cohesion
Ensure your sentences are varied in structure to maintain reader engagement. Consider using complex sentence structures in combination with simple ones for better flow and depth in your arguments.
coherence/cohesion
The essay contains a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your argument and summarizing your viewpoints, which boosts coherence.
task achievement
You have addressed both sides of the argument, showcasing a balanced response to the task requirements. This enhances the completeness of your task response.
task achievement
The central thesis is clear, and your main points are relevant and logically aligned to the question, demonstrating a good understanding of the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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