The percentage of overweight children in western societ fty has increased by almost 20% in the last 10 years. Discuss the cause and effects of this disturbing trend
Nowadays, obesity in Western nations has increased among by teenagers more than 20% in the
last
decade. In the forthcoming paragraphs, I shall elaborate on the reasons and discuss what the side effects are.
Firstly
, it is obvious that fast foods
and high-calorie dishes are the most important reason
why Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
people
are fatter than before. In other words
, the younger generations have changed their lifestyle in terms of more comfortable recipes due to
preparation. Secondly
, youngsters have fewer movements compared to before. Thus
, they would gain weight, and it would not be helpful to their health. For example
, in the USA, some people
tend to eat more junk foods
, as it is more convenient for cooking due to
time management.
On the other hand
, if we usually use processed foods
, they will hurt our physical fitness. In other words
, it will not be helpful to our bodies, and it can cause diseases, such
as cancer, and high blood pressure. Moreover
, it will threaten general hygiene, as it has enough potential to decrease well-being in terms of higher rates of heart attacks. So, it would be a great idea if we monitored food industries by some restrictive actions since they have added a huge amount of artificial sweeteners to their products. For instance
, in India, some corps industries prefer to add natural additives to their manufacturing in terms of controlling blood pressure,
and supporting the government for a better approach Remove the comma
apply
due to
constructive hygiene management.
In conclusion, it is clear that
fast foods
and fizzy drinks are the most important reason
why Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
people
are fatter than before. Also
, their recipe is another cause that persuades people
to eat them, as it is easier to make them. Moreover
, it will increase the number of individuals who have been infected by high blood pressure and heart attacks.Submitted by ali.pazoki72 on
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task achievement
Try to expand on your ideas with more specific examples and details. For example, you can mention specific fast foods that are popular among children and link them to the causes of obesity. Providing evidence and statistics can also strengthen your points.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single idea and that your points flow logically from one to the next. Use transition words and phrases to guide the reader through your essay. This will make the essay easier to follow and understand.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, provide a clearer link between the causes and effects you discuss. For instance, directly connect the consumption of fast food to specific health problems like high blood pressure or heart disease.
introduction conclusion
Make sure your introduction clearly outlines the main points you will discuss in your essay. A concise and clear introduction sets a strong foundation for the rest of the essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This helps the reader follow the flow of ideas easily.
task achievement
The essay addresses both causes and effects of the issue, demonstrating a good understanding of the task.
relevant specific examples
You have used relevant examples to support your arguments, which helps to illustrate your points effectively.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic
Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.
You essay structure should look something like this:
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – Problems
- Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- One of the first problems of the...
- Another problem that needs to be considered...
- A possible solution to this problem would be...
- One immediate practical solution is to...