Studies have shown that most criminals have low levels of education. Because of this many believe that the best way to reduce crime is to educate prisoners so they can get a job after being released. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#studies #criminals #levels #education #crime #prisoners #job

Nowadays, studies have illustrated that most criminals do not have enough level of education,

that

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

is why

majority

Correct article usage

the majority

show examples

think that

educate

Wrong verb form

educating

show examples

prisoners is the best method to decrease crime, because they can get a job. I firmly agree with

this

statement

due to

facts that will be written in the following paragraphs.

To begin

with, many recidivists are likely to do

illigal

Correct your spelling

illegal

activities

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

since they cannot get a job after being released.

This

is mostly because

thay

Correct your spelling

they

do not have relevant

sertificate

Correct your spelling

certificate

certificates

or knowledge to start working.

Hence

, creating educational programs for caged individuals is an appropriate way to reduce crime

level

Fix the agreement mistake

levels

show examples

. To illustrate, in some countries,

prosiners

Correct your spelling

professionals

have

Remove the article

apply

show examples

access to libraries,

that

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

can give them

needed

Correct article usage

the needed

show examples

information to

apply

Add the preposition

apply for

show examples

a job.

Furthermore

such

education is able to alter an

ex prisoner

Add a hyphen

ex-prisoner

show examples

to a beneficial part of society.

In other words

potential

Correct article usage

the potential

show examples

advantages of teaching caged humans

Change the verb form

are

show examples

significant, because expenses for jails will be reduced.

Therefore

, there will be more workers that

posetively

Correct your spelling

positively

influence

ecinimics

Correct your spelling

economics

For example

according to

a recent study, in order to support only one prison in the US, millions of dollars are needed annually.

To conclude

low

Correct article usage

the low

show examples

rate of education among jailed people is

prevalent

Add an article

a prevalent

show examples

issue,

that

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

is why providing lessons for them is significant, since it may

positivelly

Correct your spelling

positively

affect

crime

Correct article usage

the crime

show examples

level.

Moreover

, new employee is an effective piece of society, that assists economics in the country.

Submitted by hhaha9102 on Wed Jul 31 2024

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language

Work on refining your language use to avoid small inaccuracies in spelling and grammar, such as 'illigal' (illegal) and 'sertificate' (certificate).

examples

Provide more specific examples to support your points. This can help to illustrate your arguments more effectively and enhance the clarity of your essay.

structure

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that the ideas flow logically within and between paragraphs. This can improve the coherence and cohesion of your essay.

structure

You have a clear and well-organized structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

task

You have provided a complete response to the task, addressing all parts of the question.

ideas

Your ideas are clear and your arguments are generally well-developed.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

233 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

recidivism
vocational training
rehabilitation
reformation
reintegration
dissuade
systemic factors
educational programs
crime deterrent
post-release employment
upskilling
social reintegration
stigma
holistic approach
socioeconomic factors

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Studies have shown that most criminals have low levels of education. Because of this many believe that the best way to reduce crime is to educate prisoners so they can get a job after being released. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Word Count

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Others, however, think that change is always a good thing. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Retaking driving test every fiver year is beneficial according to some. Do you agree or disagree?