It is important for people to take risks. Both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #risks #lives

It is true that everybody should take

risks

, either in their career lives or private lives.

Although

taking

risks

has some cons,

such

as failure and regrets, I believe that it

also

has a bunch of benefits like having greater opportunities for personal growth and becoming resilient to something. There are two main reasons why stepping into the unknown is significantly beneficial.

First,

people

who like to challenge themself always tend to have more opportunities,

addition

Add a comma

addition,

show examples

these

people

always take an opportunity in front of them, leading to more experiences.

Moreover

people

who do not hesitate to take

risks

usually have an optimistic mindset and

also

have faith in themselves. Even though some

people

will fail after taking a risk,

people

with

this

approach will be resilient to face it. In fact, there are

also

some drawbacks to taking

risks

such

as regrets and failure.

For example

, to become an entrepreneur

people

have to face failure after taking

risks

, and some

people

feel down after taking

risks

. In conclusion, even there are several benefits and drawbacks to taking

risks

. I believe taking

risks

is important for

people

Submitted by inekemargareta20 on Wed Jul 31 2024

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coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear structure with a good introduction and conclusion. However, you could improve the coherence of your main points by connecting them more smoothly.

task achievement

Your response addresses the prompt well, but adding more specific examples or experiences can strengthen your argument.

coherence cohesion

The essay is well-structured, with a clear introduction and conclusion, which enhances readability.

task achievement

You have provided a balanced discussion of both the advantages and disadvantages of taking risks.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

188 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Opportunities
Growth
Innovation
Challenges
Self-discovery
Resilience
Uncertainty
Consequences
Calculated risks
Stagnation
Regret
Comfort zone
Entrepreneurship
Adventurous spirit
Thriving
Failure
Mitigate
Reap the rewards

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It is important for people to take risks. Both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Nowadays, Many people are choosing to be self-employed rather than work for a company or organization. What might be cause of this? What are the potential drawbacks of self-employment?

1.Influence of human being in the world ecosystem is leading to the extinction of species and loss of bio-diversity. What are the primary cause of loss of bio-diversity? What solution can you suggest?