IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Formal examinations are the only effective way to assess a student’s performance. Continual assessment such as course work and projects are not a satisfactory way to do this. Do you agree or disagree?

#examinations #student’s #performance #course #work #projects
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In these
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These
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 days with
the
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apply
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advanced technology students can use it to achieve their study
goal
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goals
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. So, some people think that the only way to assess the students is by tests,
while
 others believe that it is
un fair
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unfair
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 to not include the other criteria.
This
 essay will discuss both ideas and will draw my personal conclusion.
In
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On
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one
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the one
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 hand, the thought of exams
are
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is
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 the only factor
of
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in
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 giving the marks, which is
student
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students
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 have all the grades they need to pass the subject in the
quizez
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quiz
quizzes
 and the final exams.
For example
, the 100 grades for the course
is
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are
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devided
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divided
 into 30 grades for the first med term exam, 30 marks for the second med term exam, and
finally
 40 for the final test. So, that
why
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is why
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 they adopt
this
 concept, which is sticking to paper and the book.
On the other hand
, people who believe that
the
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apply
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group work and other factors must be included in the criteria of the course, considering
that is
 it unfair for the student to limit the standards to the paper and the book. To illustrate,
the
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apply
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group work,
students
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student
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 participation, and
attendence
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attendance
 must be taken
under
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into
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 consideration.
hence
 the belief that the standards must be
extanded
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extended
expanded
.
In addition
 the thought of
extanding
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extending
expanding
 the criteria, and giving the people more space to love the course
in stead
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instead
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 of hating it. For
an
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apply
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instance,
for
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apply
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some
applicants
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applicants,
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they
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apply
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can show more advanced
behavior
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behaviour
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 and creativity in other factors
such
 as
,
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apply
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 leadership in the group project, and cooperation in brainstorming.
This
 proves clearly that the standards must not be confined
in
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to
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 a couple of concepts. In conclusion, after a careful analysis of both
point
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points
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of views
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views
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view
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, I believe that the education methods can not be set at once, because I personally experienced a variety of concepts.
Submitted by farissaadksa on

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task achievement
Your essay does a good job in addressing both sides of the argument. However, it could benefit from more detailed examples and deeper analysis to show a complete response. Try to include more specific examples or research to support your points.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, work on the transitions between paragraphs and ideas. Use linking words and phrases to help guide the reader through your argument.
clear comprehensive ideas
There are quite a few grammatical errors and awkward phrasings present in the essay. Reviewing the use of English grammar rules and practicing more can help improve clarity and readability.
introduction conclusion present
You have provided a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps to frame your argument well.
supported main points
You have made an effort to support your main points with examples, even if they need to be more detailed.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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