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Band 5.5

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor.

#people #health #alternative #medicines #treatments #doctor
The question of whether to go to
medical
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the medical
a medical
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 center like
hospital
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a hospital
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 when
individual
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an individual
the individual
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 is in need is worthy of debate. There are increasing concerns that many people hinder themselves from visiting formal doctors these days. I think trying to find alternative medicines and therapies
instead
 of orthodox
way
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ways
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 can trigger a number of negative effects on an ultimate health condition.
Firstly
, history is replete with
the
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apply
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researches
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research
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 which
proved
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proves
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 that medicine is the most
elaborated
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elaborate
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 and sophisticated discipline in the world. There are credible cumulative papers and clinical reports about
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the
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human body and
correct
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the correct
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 usage of medication and they
also
 have been studied throughout the world until today.
It
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There
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 is no use
to doubt
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in doubting
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 the expertise conducted under an impeccable condition and
take
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taking
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risk
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risks
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to
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with
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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unproven knowledge which can be adventurous and virulent to health.
Moreover
, take
a
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apply
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cancer and
the
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apply
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diseases which require
an
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apply
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urgent treatment as examples. If you neglected
a
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apply
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cancer and just dismissed it
to
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as
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 a trivial symptom, it is highly plausible that you would miss the golden time for the right treatment.
In addition
, procrastination
of
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in
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the
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apply
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acute diseases which need urgent
response
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responses
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 like immediate surgery can cause a fatal implication to viability. The faster you find the illness the higher you can easily recover from the malady. To recapitulate, even if there are eclectic ways to deal with their health problems, patients have to see a doctor for their permanent well-being. Contemplating
to
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apply
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the new phases
resulted
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resulting
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 from changes
such
 as easy accessibility to medical services and
deluge
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a deluge
the deluge
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 of information plays a significant role in the prosperity of nations and organizations.
Submitted by rainbowlck on

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intro conclusion
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion. Make sure to clearly express your opinion and ensure that all parts of the task prompt are addressed.
examples
Expand on the given ideas with more specific examples or evidence to strengthen your argument. For instance, provide specific alternative treatments people use and their drawbacks.
complexity
Try to maintain clarity in your arguments. Some of the sentences and ideas are complex and can be simplified for better understanding.
logical structure
The essay maintains a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
vocabulary
The use of academic vocabulary and varied sentence structures is noticeable, adding sophistication to the essay.
organization
The main points are well-organized and logically flow from one to the next.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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