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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The plans show the ground floor of the library in 2001 and how it was redeveloped in 2009.

#plans #show #ground #floor #library #redeveloped
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The plans illustrate the ground level of the book collection and how the place that contains knowledge and books changed after some developments from 2001 to 2009.
Overall
, the book studio witnessed radical changes with the most noticeable being new book areas and facilities. There were three fields of books: Self-help, History and Fiction in the west of the map in 2001 which has been expanded to more types
such
 as Kitchen, Economics, Law and Children’s books that were fiction area the previous day.
While
 the entryway where welcomed customers are retained without change from the librarian’s desk to stairs in 8 years. The centre of the library was converted into a long table in 2009
instead
 of each row of the table in 2001. They have constructed a children’s area which was previously vacant at the top of the map and added more computers to the east of the map.
Moreover
, newspapers and periodicals space was replaced by films and DVDs in 2009.
Submitted by phamnhung275 on

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coherence cohesion
Enhance the logical flow and structure of the essay by logically arranging the points. For instance, consider discussing the 2001 layout comprehensively before moving on to the changes in 2009.
coherence cohesion
Include a short and concise conclusion to summarize the main points discussed in the essay. This can help in bringing a closure to your discussion.
task achievement
Ensure that all primary changes are adequately described. For example, mentioning the changes in the location of specific sections such as the addition of a children's area could be made clearer.
task achievement
Simplify complex sentences to avoid confusion and enhance readability. For instance, use clearly structured sentences to describe the initial state and then the modifications implemented.
task achievement
You have clearly identified and described the major changes that took place in the library from 2001 to 2009, which shows a good understanding of the task.
task achievement
The essay includes relevant and specific examples of the changes, such as the addition of new book areas and facilities.
coherence cohesion
Main ideas are provided, and the comparison between the two years is evident in the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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