Some people believe that it is best to encourage children to have a healthy diet at school while others believe that parents should be the ones to teach children to have a healthy diet.Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Some individuals claim that it is good to advise young
children
to have a healthy diet at school Use synonyms
while
others believe that parents are responsible for educating their Linking Words
children
to have healthy Use synonyms
food
. Use synonyms
This
essay will discuss both aspects and articulate the given problem Linking Words
along with
my opinion and logical conclusion.
Linking Words
To begin
with, staying fit and healthy at a young age will encourage young Linking Words
children
to live longer. First of all, nowadays everyone enjoys eating junk Use synonyms
food
because it is made in two minutes, Use synonyms
also
the cost of fast Linking Words
food
is cheaper than healthy Use synonyms
food
Use synonyms
such
as KFCLinking Words
Add the comma(s)
, therefore,
therefore
families' responsibility toward their Linking Words
children
is to prevent them from buying Use synonyms
a bad quality meals
and set a plan at a young age, Correct the article-noun agreement
bad quality meals
a bad quality meal
children
should get used to eating a healthy meal at a young age so in the future when they try fast meal they won't love it. Use synonyms
Moreover
, parents should prepare their meals before going to school and get their lunch boxes ready for the day. Linking Words
Nevertheless
, the consequences of eating fast meals may lead to illnesses Linking Words
such
as blood sugar and blood pressure.
Linking Words
On the other hand
, the school is responsible for taking care of young Linking Words
children
by providing extracurricular activities Use synonyms
such
as football ,basketball running sessions and what to eat. Linking Words
For instance
, in the united arab Emirates schools are challenging each other in activities and will win a massive amount of money Linking Words
therefore
the Linking Words
children
will be encouraged.
In a nutshell, despite people having different views, I believe that schools are responsible for keeping young Use synonyms
children
healthy and fit since parents are busy working all day.Use synonyms
Submitted by saeeddjcj80 on
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task response
Your introduction adequately presents the topic and your thesis statement is clear. However, providing a clearer outline of the points you'll discuss could enhance clarity.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph logically follows from the last and that each point directly supports your thesis. For example, the connection between providing extracurricular activities and teaching healthy eating habits could be made clearer.
task response
Your arguments would benefit from additional supporting details and examples. For instance, providing statistics about the impact of parental versus school intervention on children's health could strengthen your points.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the flow within paragraphs by using linking words and phrases. This will help enhance the coherence of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your opinion and the main points discussed in the essay.
task response
You present relevant points for both perspectives, showing a balanced discussion.