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Band 7.5

Some people prefer to live in rented homes rather than purchasing their own homes. Do you think advantages of living in rented house outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #homes #house
It is widely believed that renting a residence
instead
 of purchasing their own house is the best way nowadays. In my opinion,
this
 trend brings more drawbacks than merits and the reasons will be discussed as follows. From my perspective, there could be some possible plus points that people can reap when renting a
home
 to live. One of the considerable benefits is you do not need to have a large amount of payment to own a
home
, as you just need to spend a little salary to rent an inland so you can use the remaining funds for other purposes
such
 as study, and travel. Another significant advantage is that you can rent a
home
 with full facilities
such
 as a bed, fridge, fan, and curtains.
Therefore
, you can save a huge of capital by avoiding these things for your new rented house.
On the other hand
, there are certain downsides to renting a dwelling.
Firstly
, if you want to fix or install some new things in your rented
home
such
 as rebuilding a new bedroom, or installing an additional air conditioner, you must have permission from the landlord, if they do not accept these changes, you have to endure and can not do anything.
This
 is very annoying. Lack of private space is another demerit
that is
 worth mentioning, since if your rented
home
 is located in a row of rooms together, you may not have enough space for your children to play or party organizing. In conclusion, it seems to me that the potential dangers of renting
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 interior are more likely significant than the possible benefits.
Submitted by okookk123456 on

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task response
Try to expand a bit more on each point to fulfill the task requirements better.
task response
Provide more specific examples to support your arguments, which would enhance task achievement.
coherence cohesion
Work on making transitions between your ideas smoother for better logical flow.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your discussion effectively.
coherence cohesion
You have structured your essay into clear paragraphs, which makes it easy to follow.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Relocate
  • Upfront financial commitment
  • Down payments
  • Property taxes
  • Maintenance costs
  • Equity
  • Property value appreciation
  • Restrictions
  • Personal ownership
  • Stability
  • Long-term security
  • Rent increases
  • Lease terminations
What to do next:
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