IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Education has several benefits for all creatures, especially for humanity. There are positive and negative aspects that can make
people
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 get value from the
science
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 itself. I totally agree with
this
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 statement because
science
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 can produce a lot of opportunities for society.
Knowledge
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 produces a number of opportunities for
people
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 in the world, not only for scientific issues but
also
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 for society.
First,
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scientists create several prototypes that can help individuals to tackle some problems.
For instance
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, researchers are producing Al or machine learning methods in the laboratory to handle daily tasks
such
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 as frontline and customer service.
Hence
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,
people
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 who are replaced by those
tools
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 can be more productive by studying and working in other occupations.
Second,
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individuals will leverage their lives with their
knowledge
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 because they can increase their skills with the
tools
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 that are generated by researchers.
For example
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,
people
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 can work and study remotely so that they can get the information quickly and easily.
Finally
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, individuals will think more critically than before so that they can filter the information whether it is original or not.
On the other hand
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, there are a few aspects in which
knowledge
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 gives negative values.
First,
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there are several
people
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 who want to take advantage of the
science
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 itself
such
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 as politicians and businessmen. As an illustration, politicians will manipulate the election data by changing the results from the
tools
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.
Next,
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the businessman will empower their money to manage the information by using scientific aspects like Al and machine learning. In the end, the spread of scientific campaigns will be blocked by the acts of those groups. In conclusion,
science
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 will have an impact on society, not only advantages but
also
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 disadvantages. I believe that
science
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 will help
people
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 to increase their standards and improve their lives.
However
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, there are a few
people
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 who want to take advantage of
science
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 by manipulating the
tools
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 and
knowledge
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.

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task achievement
While the essay clearly discusses both positive and negative impacts of science, it would benefit from a stronger connection to the central statement about science's primary aim being the improvement of people's lives. Try to explicitly tie your examples back to the main thesis in each paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Using more varied linking words or phrases could enhance the flow between your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-provided but could be slightly more concise or directly related to the task prompt to strengthen the argument.
task achievement
The essay provides a rich variety of examples, such as AI and remote learning, illustrating the positive effects of science on people's lives.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear and logical structure, with well-defined paragraphs supporting different viewpoints on the topic.
coherence and cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the analysis of both positive and negative impacts of scientific developments.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • enhancing
  • quality of human life
  • advancements
  • medicine
  • healthcare
  • scientific research
  • solving societal problems
  • improving living standards
  • global issues
  • climate change
  • food scarcity
  • technological advancements
  • limitations
  • negative consequences
  • ethical considerations
  • sustainability
  • environmental preservation
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