IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

You are a student living in university accommodation. The heating has not worked for some time. Write a letter to the management. In your letter Explain why you complain; Describe the problems Tell what you want them to do

#student #university #accommodation #time #management
Dear Sir/Madam, I am writing
this
 letter to bring to your notice that
heating
Correct article usage
the heating
show examples
 system is not working properly in my room in
university
Correct article usage
the university
show examples
 hostel. The heating system is not fully functional in my room. It is affecting my studies and exam preparation as my next
semester
Change noun form
semester's
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 exams are going
to begin
from
Change preposition
apply
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next month.
Furthermore
,
geyser
Correct article usage
the geyser
show examples
 in
bathroom
Add an article
the bathroom
a bathroom
show examples
 is not working. I might get cold because of
this
.
From
Change preposition
For
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last
Correct article usage
the last
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 two
Fix the agreement mistake
months
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month
Add a comma
month,
show examples
 I
am
Wrong verb form
have been
show examples
 complaining to
hostel
Correct article usage
the hostel
show examples
 warden about
this
,
still
Add a comma
still,
show examples
 no action has been taken by them. Every time I
am getting
Wrong verb form
get
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same
Change the article
the same
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 reply that they are working on it.
Therefore
, I am requesting you to kindly
repaired
Wrong verb form
repair
show examples
 it from electricians on
immediate
Correct article usage
an immediate
show examples
 basis. The electrician will be able to diagnose the problem and may suggest possible
solution
Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
show examples
 for the issue. He will be
also
 able to check
heating
Correct article usage
the heating
show examples
 system temperature control. I look forward to your prompt reply. Yours faithfully, Martin Smith
Submitted by yash334 on

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coherence cohesion
In the body paragraphs, try to organize your thoughts more clearly. For example, you could combine the issues with the heating system and the geyser into one paragraph, and the history of your complaints into another.
task achievement
Ensure there is a conclusion that summarizes your complaints and states your request again. This will make the letter more coherent and structured.
coherence cohesion
The letter appropriately addresses the recipient and ends with a polite closing, which is suitable for a formal letter.
task achievement
The tone of the letter is appropriate and respectful, which is suitable for a formal complaint.

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