Some people say that playing sports helps prepare children for their future work,while others disagree, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
I believe that playing
sports
helps prepare children for their future work
,
because they will get used to Remove the comma
apply
work
for what they want to achieve. And most importantly, they will learn how to be proud of themselves.
playing Change the verb form
working
sports
is mainly about losing or winning, yet your kid
needs to realize that losing doesn't
mean you're a failure. You have to keep going, keep playing, keep
Correct word choice
and keep
practicing
until you get what you want and the same goes for when they grow up and get their first real job, they Change the spelling
practising
wouldn'
Correct your spelling
won't
t
just give up in
their first task. Change preposition
on
Sports
teach a lot in life
To illustrate, let's compare between a kid
who plays sports
and a kid
who doesn't
. The one who plays sports
will be active and would
have a healthy lifestyle and mindset. Wrong verb form
will
On the other hand
, the one who doesn't
play sports
wouldn't
know how comprtitive
people are in general, perhaps Correct your spelling
competitive
in
Change preposition
at
work
or in college.
So I definitely recommend teaching your child how to play sports
and encourage them.
The majority of kids nowadays don't
play football or basketball or even any sport. They're mostly playing video games and that's enough for them yet I blame their parents for not letting them go outside and play.
From my peronsal
experience, I've been playing Correct your spelling
personal
sports
since I was a child and it really helped me come out to the world, I wasn't
shielded from hard work
as my brothers and sisters.
This
actively demonstrates that playing sports
make
a huge impact in our lives, Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
Due to
the fact that I've been surrounded by people who haven't
played sports
their whole lives and there comes me, a sport
freakChange the noun form
sports
..
Replace the punctuation
.
...
Sports
isn't
just a hobby or an exercise, it's a lifestyle every kid
must experience.Submitted by judekhalid2909 on
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introduction conclusion present
Your essay starts with a strong opinion, but it would benefit from a clear introductory paragraph that outlines the main points you'll discuss. This will help set the stage for the reader.
complete response
Ensure you address both sides of the argument equally. Currently, the essay leans heavily towards the benefits of sports without adequately discussing the opposing view. Balance is key for a higher score.
relevant specific examples
Some examples and arguments are compelling, but they need to be more clearly linked to the topic. For instance, discuss specific skills learned from sports that are directly applicable to work environments.
logical structure
Try to use more transitional phrases and linking words to enhance the flow of your essay. Phrases like 'on the contrary,' 'furthermore,' and 'in addition' can make your argument more cohesive.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your enthusiasm for the topic is evident, which makes the essay engaging.
relevant specific examples
The personal experience you shared is very effective and helps to illustrate your point well.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.