Children should take part time jobs in their free time or they should totally focus on their studies. What are the advantages and disadvantages to children of doing so?

Children
should
take
Verb problem
do
show examples
partial
work
in their leisure time or they
ahould toatally
Correct your spelling
should totally
pay attention
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
their
studies
.
This
essay will
dicuss
Correct your spelling
discuss
and articulate both the aspects
Change preposition
of merites
show examples
merites
Correct your spelling
merits
and
demerites
Correct your spelling
demerits
along with
relevent
Correct your spelling
relevant
examples and a logical conclusion.
To begin
with,
initially
, nowadays, it is difficult to study
due to
life
expensess
Correct your spelling
expenses
and high educational fees. In most
countries
Add a comma
countries,
show examples
the
education
cost gradually increasing.
For example
, many families
cant
Correct your spelling
can't
show examples
afford
paying
Change the verb form
to pay
show examples
education
fees, and
children
in different
counties
Correct your spelling
countries
show examples
are looking for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
while
studying just to balance their
life's
Change noun form
lives
show examples
.
In other words
, A child can either study or
work
, in
india
Change the capitalization
India
show examples
more than half
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
struggling the reason
education
is exorbitant.
On the other hand
, individuals say that
children
should totally
concintrate
Correct your spelling
concentrate
on their
studies
. Researchers
adviced
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advised
that
children
who
work
and study
they cant
Correct your spelling
can't
achieve much in their
studies
,
wheras
Correct your spelling
whereas
,
children
who completely focus on
the
Change the word
their
show examples
studies
they got high grades.
For instance
, the government built schools, colleges and universities free of charge and
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
show examples
brings
Correct subject-verb agreement
bring
show examples
high marks they
give
Wrong verb form
given
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
award
Fix the agreement mistake
awards
show examples
and
scholarship
Fix the agreement mistake
scholarships
show examples
to continue higher
education
in any other country. In a nutshell, it is fundamental for
children
to focus on their
studies
rather than
work
partially, and the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
huge companies can help the
children
financially to reach
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their
goal
Fix the agreement mistake
goals
show examples
.
Submitted by ismailalmarri0 on

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task achievement
Ensure your introduction clearly states the purpose of the essay and previews the main points discussed.
task achievement
Provide more specific and relevant examples to back your claims.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that transitions between paragraphs are smooth.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task. Discussing both advantages and disadvantages more thoroughly will enhance your score.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving sentence structure and grammar to improve readability and coherence.
coherence cohesion
Finish with a more compelling conclusion that summarizes the main points and gives your final opinion.
task achievement
Your essay presents a clear position on the topic.
task achievement
You have made an attempt to give both perspectives on the issue, which is commendable.
coherence cohesion
The overall structure of the essay is present with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
You have utilized relevant points concerning the cost of education and the importance of focusing on studies.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • part-time job
  • focus on
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • responsibility
  • work ethic
  • time management skills
  • social skills
  • communication skills
  • financial independence
  • money management
  • practical knowledge
  • real-world experience
  • academic performance
  • stress
  • fatigue
  • rest
  • relaxation
  • extracurricular activities
  • unsafe
  • inappropriate
  • social development
  • emotional development
What to do next:
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