Children should take part time jobs in their free time or they should totally focus on their studies. What are the advantages and disadvantages to children of doing so?

#children #part #time #jobs #focus #studies

Children

should

take

Verb problem

show examples

partial

work

in their leisure time or they

ahould toatally

Correct your spelling

should totally

pay attention

Change preposition

show examples

their

studies

This

essay will

dicuss

Correct your spelling

discuss

and articulate both the aspects

Change preposition

of merites

show examples

merites

Correct your spelling

merits

and

demerites

Correct your spelling

demerits

along with

relevent

Correct your spelling

relevant

examples and a logical conclusion.

To begin

with,

initially

, nowadays, it is difficult to study

due to

life

expensess

Correct your spelling

expenses

and high educational fees. In most

countries

Add a comma

countries,

show examples

the

education

cost gradually increasing.

For example

, many families

cant

Correct your spelling

can't

show examples

afford

paying

Change the verb form

to pay

show examples

education

fees, and

children

in different

counties

Correct your spelling

countries

show examples

are looking for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

show examples

while

studying just to balance their

life's

Change noun form

lives

show examples

In other words

, A child can either study or

work

, in

india

Change the capitalization

India

show examples

more than half

population

Correct article usage

the population

show examples

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

struggling the reason

education

is exorbitant.

On the other hand

, individuals say that

children

should totally

concintrate

Correct your spelling

concentrate

on their

studies

. Researchers

adviced

Correct your spelling

advised

that

children

who

work

and study

they cant

Correct your spelling

can't

achieve much in their

studies

wheras

Correct your spelling

whereas

children

who completely focus on

the

Change the word

their

show examples

studies

they got high grades.

For instance

, the government built schools, colleges and universities free of charge and

who

Correct pronoun usage

those who

show examples

brings

Correct subject-verb agreement

bring

show examples

high marks they

give

Wrong verb form

given

show examples

them

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

award

Fix the agreement mistake

awards

show examples

and

scholarship

Fix the agreement mistake

scholarships

show examples

to continue higher

education

in any other country. In a nutshell, it is fundamental for

children

to focus on their

studies

rather than

work

partially, and the

the

Remove the redundancy

apply

show examples

huge companies can help the

children

financially to reach

Change preposition

apply

show examples

their

goal

Fix the agreement mistake

goals

show examples

Submitted by ismailalmarri0 on Wed Jul 31 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Ensure your introduction clearly states the purpose of the essay and previews the main points discussed.

task achievement

Provide more specific and relevant examples to back your claims.

coherence cohesion

Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that transitions between paragraphs are smooth.

task achievement

Address all parts of the task. Discussing both advantages and disadvantages more thoroughly will enhance your score.

coherence cohesion

Work on improving sentence structure and grammar to improve readability and coherence.

coherence cohesion

Finish with a more compelling conclusion that summarizes the main points and gives your final opinion.

task achievement

Your essay presents a clear position on the topic.

task achievement

You have made an attempt to give both perspectives on the issue, which is commendable.

coherence cohesion

The overall structure of the essay is present with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

task achievement

You have utilized relevant points concerning the cost of education and the importance of focusing on studies.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – advantages
Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

The main advantage is...
The disadvantage of this...
The main benefit...
Despite these advantages...
One possible drawback...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
33Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

217 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

part-time job
focus on
advantages
disadvantages
responsibility
work ethic
time management skills
social skills
communication skills
financial independence
money management
practical knowledge
real-world experience
academic performance
stress
fatigue
rest
relaxation
extracurricular activities
unsafe
inappropriate
social development
emotional development

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4
band
These days, in many countries, fewer and fewer people want to become teachers, particularly in secondary schools. What are the reasons for this? How could more people be encouraged to come into the teaching profession? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.
These days, the number of people who are willing to regard teaching as their considering job is decreasing quickly gradually. There are several reasons why youngsters prefer other careers and also a few ways to encourage them to come into teaching profession.
5.5
band
Some countries are strungling with increase in crime rates. Some berlive that having more police on the street is bestway to reduce and combat crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, the majority part of monopolies are frustrated with an increase in crime rates. Although it would be useful to concentrate more police on the street , it would be more efficient if there were cruel punishments.
5
band
The Best way to reduce poverty in developing countries is by giving up to six years of free education, so that they can at least read, write and use numbers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In this modern world, there is no denying that one of the basic needs of human rights is education. There is a general claim that poor nations should invest their fund in free learning for their people for up to 6 years in order to provide them with some basic life skills such as reading, writing and handling numbers. It is agreed that this should be a good idea for any nation in the world. Analysing the long-term benefits of this investment as well as the economic outcomes that it can bring to any country will prove this.
7
band
In recent years many small shops have closed, because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.
With the beginning of the current decade, many local stores have become non-operational because consumers today are more likely to visit supermarkets and shopping complexes to purchase the goods they need and want. In my view, It is a positive trend because these megastores generally fulfil all the requirements for the public under the same roof. Moreover, this essay will dictate the pointers describing the merit sides of the statement.
7
band
Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situation. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Some argue that it is good to claim a bad situation, like a job with bad conditions or low salary, while others believe that people need to try to make a such situation better.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Children should take part time jobs in their free time or they should totally focus on their studies. What are the advantages and disadvantages to children of doing so?

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Some countries are strungling with increase in crime rates. Some berlive that having more police on the street is bestway to reduce and combat crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The Best way to reduce poverty in developing countries is by giving up to six years of free education, so that they can at least read, write and use numbers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In recent years many small shops have closed, because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping.

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situation. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+