Nowadays it is common for people to get married and have children in their thirties rather than when they are younger. Do you agree or disagree that this trend will benefit society?

These days,
people
choose
Wrong verb form
choosing
show examples
to become single for a longer period of their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
has become ubiquitous.
As a result
, they will have
children
lately like in their thirties. Some
people
see
this
trend as positive
whereas
others hold the opposite opinions.
According to
my opinion, late
marriages
create mature
partners
and financially stable parents. These are vital benefits for
society
.
This
essay will depict my agreement with relevant examples. Maturity is considered the paramount quality of marriage. When
partners
are
matured
Replace the word
mature
show examples
enough, they understand each other and do not indulge in fighting
for
Change preposition
over
show examples
petty issues.
As a result
, there will be fewer domestic violence and divorce cases in
society
.
For instance
, the state of Kerala has a significantly higher rate of happily married couples because most of the
marriages
have happened in the thirties of their
partners
.
Additionally
, It is generally seen that the income of a person increases as he grows older. A partner with financial stability will keep his counterpart happy and secure a bright future for his
children
. He can provide higher education to his
children
, these
children
will earn more in future which will ultimately make
society
stronger and prosperous.
In particular
, a recent survey by a private NGO says that
people
who are
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
higher positions in government jobs or in MNCs had educated and well-earned parents.
On the other hand
, when a partner is immature
due to
his age factor, he will not be able to understand the emotions of his counterpart and will end up having
Correct article usage
a
show examples
troubled married life. Many times, these
marriages
do not
last
long and create
sad
Correct article usage
a sad
show examples
life for both
partners
.
For example
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
divorced
people
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
the USA have more depression issues than
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
the rest
countries
Change preposition
of countries
show examples
of the world. In conclusion, the idea of late
marriages
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
benefits
such
as creating strong bonds, financial freedom and avoiding chances of divorce
due to
immaturity.
Therefore
, it should be adopted.
Hence
, I agree that they are beneficial for
society
.
Submitted by chandralekha1993 on

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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear stance on the topic and includes relevant examples, but it could benefit from more nuanced argumentation. Consider discussing potential drawbacks of late marriages to show a balanced view.
task achievement
Some of your points could be better supported with more specific examples or data. For instance, when discussing financial stability, you might want to include more factual statistics or studies.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. You might use more linking words and phrases to guide the reader through your argument.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and that the idea is developed fully. As it stands, some points feel a bit rushed and not deeply explored.
coherence cohesion
Revise minor grammatical errors and awkward phrases to bolster clarity and coherence in your writing. For instance, 'he can provide higher education to his children, these children will earn more' would be clearer as 'he can provide higher education to his children, which will enable them to earn more in the future.'
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction clearly outlines the essay's main argument and prepares the reader for what follows.
supported main points
You have provided relevant examples to support your argument, which strengthens your essay.
introduction conclusion present
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reiterates your stance, which ties the essay together well.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic stability
  • financial security
  • mature decision making
  • life goals
  • child welfare
  • emotionally equipped
  • population growth control
  • resource management
  • environmental sustainability
  • changing social norms
  • traditional timelines
  • personal freedom
  • social diversity
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