These days, people work in more than one job , and often change career several times during their life. What are the advantages and diadvantages of this ?
It is true that we are no longer working for only
one
company. Instead
, we change it many times or we have multiple careers at the same time.
I think there are three advantages of working in more than one
job. First,
you can make more money, especially in the early stage of your career. When you've been working in one
job, you might be getting a higher salary than others. However
, if you just started working, it won't be possible to make as much as people who've been doing for
a long period. Correct pronoun usage
it for
Secondly
, when they have many talents, I think it is normal to make another income from those. For example
, they can play an instrument or they can draw and sell paintings. Also
, people with multiple jobs won't get bored. We can often see workers who get tired of their job
only a couple of years later. Having 2 or 3 jobs may help how people feel about their work as well.
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
On the other hand
, I see only one
disadvantage of this
. Those who work in many places will be less professional than those who are not. Of course, they need to spend more time to be as good as the latter group. For instance
, if someone has been working full-time in marketing for one
year, their ability would be equal to ones who's been doing
part-time in the same field for a few years. Verb problem
working
Therefore
, I guess if you want to become the greatest worker, having different career paths won't be a good idea.
In conclusion, I belive
there are more benefits than drawbacks. Correct your spelling
believe
However
, it all depends on what you pursue in your career such
as money, diverse opportunities or being professional.Submitted by dob.jeong on
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Task Achievement
Try to provide a more balanced view with equal emphasis on both advantages and disadvantages.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure each paragraph develops a single main idea and is clearly connected to the thesis statement.
Task Achievement
Use more specific examples to illustrate points, particularly for the disadvantages.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on refining sentence structure and grammar to improve clarity and coherence.
Structure
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, framing the discussion well.
Task Achievement
You provided several potential advantages of having multiple jobs which are well explained.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay attempts to structure ideas logically, moving from advantages to disadvantages.
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