IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

More and more people are leaving countryside to live in cities. Do more advantages or disadvantages of this development for environment.

#people #countryside #cities #development #environment
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In recent times,
influx
Correct article usage
an influx
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people
Change preposition
of people
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are
Verb problem
has
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moving
Wrong verb form
moved
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 from rural to urban
areas
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
, relocating to cities
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 some downsides,
However
Linking Words
, I believe
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
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overweigh
Verb problem
outweigh
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 the disadvantages of
this
Linking Words
 trend as now will be explained. To commence with, moving to cities can majorly upgrade
standard
Add an article
the standard
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 of living of residents. Urban
areas
Use synonyms
 provide all
amenities
Correct article usage
the amenities
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 required to live in
this
Linking Words
 advanced technological world.
For instance
Linking Words
, parents these days do not hesitate to move their children for higher education in cities as it is believed that educational institutes situated in urban
areas
Use synonyms
 are far more reputed.
Consequently
Linking Words
, it enables
high
Correct article usage
a high
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 literacy rate and employment rate.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
better
Correct article usage
a better
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 style of living
such
Linking Words
 as medical facilities, waste and waste disposal, rich infrastructure and
good
Correct article usage
a good
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 transport system can be expected
while
Linking Words
 living in metropolitan
areas
Use synonyms
. Another benefit of moving can be vast companies offering employment opportunities.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, there are some downsides
also
Linking Words
. Large people relocating to urban
areas
Use synonyms
 cause heavy population and traffic jams.
Need
Correct article usage
The need
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 to
expansion of
Wrong verb form
expand
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 urban
areas
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
increase
Correct article usage
the increase
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 in population is directly associated with land cutting and deforestation.
Such
Linking Words
 activities have become debatable issues these days and harm the environment and
mother earth
Correct your spelling
Mother Earth
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.
Also
Linking Words
, disruption to nature causes many diseases and other related environmental issues on which
government
Correct article usage
the government
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 needs to take strict actions.
For instance
Linking Words
, these urban
areas
Use synonyms
 have become heavily crowded and people go back to countryside
areas
Use synonyms
 to
get
Verb problem
apply
show examples
relax from the chaos which may not be available very soon in future.
To conclude
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, though there are some downsides
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
Linking Words
 trend, In my opinion, merits have an edge over demerits and the considerable reason for
this
Linking Words
 can be access to a better and
high
Correct word choice
higher
show examples
 standard of living by residents.
Submitted by simranjit2598 on

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task achievement
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coherence cohesion
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task achievement
Good attempt at addressing the task with valid arguments and examples.
coherence cohesion
Clearly structured essay with a logical introduction and conclusion.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • urbanization
  • ecosystems
  • economies of scale
  • public transportation
  • reforestation
  • rewilding
  • biodiversity
  • pollution
  • waste production
  • habitat destruction
  • fragmentation
  • traditional agricultural practices
  • sustainable
  • recycling
  • waste management
  • heat islands
  • global warming
  • climate change
  • rural-to-urban shift
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