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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart shows the average number of hours each day that Chinese, American, Turkish and Brazilian tourists spent doing leisure activities while on holiday in Greece in August 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart shows the average number of hours each day that Chinese, American, Turkish and Brazilian tourists spent doing leisure activities while on holiday in Greece in August 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The bar chart describes the leisure activities of
Chinese
Use synonyms
,
American
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,
Turkish
Use synonyms
 and
Brazilian
Use synonyms
tourists
Use synonyms
 in Greece during their holiday in August 2019. The information is shown in averages of
hours
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 spent on leisure activities per
day
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.
Overall
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Chinese
Use synonyms
 and
American
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tourists
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 prefer to read books on their holiday
while
Linking Words
Turkish
Use synonyms
 and
Brazilian
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tourists
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 choose to be on the beach. All
tourists
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 spent the smallest part of their
day
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
visiting other places. The
Chinese
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 and
American
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tourists
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 show the same trend in terms of spending the most time
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
reading books and the least on visiting places.
However
Linking Words
,
Chinese
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tourists
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 read 75% of their
day
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 and
American
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tourists
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 around 40%.
Turkish
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 and
Brazilian
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tourists
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 prefer doing the same leisure activities during their
holiday
Fix the agreement mistake
holidays
show examples
. Both groups spent 4
hours
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 a
day
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 reading books.
Brazilian
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tourists
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 are just 1 hour longer at the beach than
Turkish
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tourists
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, 6
hours
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 and 5
hours
Use synonyms
 respectively.

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 65%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words chinese, american, turkish, brazilian, tourists, hours, day with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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