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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table and charts below give information on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in one area of Britain. The table shows where the money came from and the chars show how it was distributed.

The table and charts below give information on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in one area of Britain. The table shows where the money came from and the chars show how it was distributed.
#information #police #budget #area #britain #money #chars #show
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The chart and table illustrate the police budget between 2017 and 2018
while
Linking Words
 showing different factors of spending
such
Linking Words
 as salaries, technology, and buildings.
To begin
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,
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 inflow and outflow of the money
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 shown in two different diagrams specifically.
Firstly
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, the fund given by the national government was increased from 175.5m and 177.8 in 2018, leading to expand a spending pattern. Local taxes
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
soared up to 102.3m which was the highest rate of change out of all. Other sources like grants
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 increased insignificant by 0.5m.
In
Change preposition
Overall
show examples
overall
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, there was a big jump in the
toal
Correct your spelling
total
 budget by 13.9m even though
there
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 was impacted by
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
inflation.
Secondly
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, the majority of
spendings
Fix the agreement mistake
spending
show examples
 take place as
salareis
Correct your spelling
salaries
 shown in the chart below.
However
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, it dropped dramatically in 2018. The importance of technology and buildings was improved, showing an increase in two minority factors by 6% out of all.
Lastly
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, national government and salaries show a negative correlation as they oppose each other.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words m with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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