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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The graph shows the income of four restaurants in Cambridge in 2016.

The graph shows the income of four restaurants in Cambridge in 2016.
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The line graph illustrates the
income
Use synonyms
 of four different
restaurants
Use synonyms
 in Cambridge in 2016.
According to
Linking Words
 the graphic presentation, the incomes of all four
restaurants
Use synonyms
 fluctuated significantly throughout the
year
Use synonyms
. The Old
Hall
Use synonyms
 has the most stable
income
Use synonyms
 among all
restaurants
Use synonyms
.
Also
Linking Words
, all three
restaurants
Use synonyms
, except The Grosvenor, ended the
year
Use synonyms
 with a profit in their
income
Use synonyms
. If we analyse the data, we see that The Grosvenor started the
year
Use synonyms
 with the highest
income
Use synonyms
 and that continued to decrease over the
year
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, The Old
Hall
Use synonyms
's
income
Use synonyms
 increased throughout the
year
Use synonyms
, except between April and July, because in those four months, The Old
Hall
Use synonyms
's
income
Use synonyms
 stayed the same.
Moreover
Linking Words
, The Old
Hall
Use synonyms
 is the only restaurant that keeps its
income
Use synonyms
 the same as
last
Linking Words
 month. When it comes to The Pizza House and The Taj Mahal, they had sharp increases all over the
year
Use synonyms
, they
also
Linking Words
 peaked at 120.000 and 190.000 pounds.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 83%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words income, restaurants, year, hall with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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