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Writing Samples
Band 7

Tourism is becoming a good source of revenue for many conutries. Discuss the advantages and the disadvantages of developing this industry

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In
this
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 contemporary world,
tourism
Use synonyms
 is one of the major sources of financing in many
countries
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, continuously building up their economies. It is my contention that whilst the
tourism
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 sector is responsible for the development of
countries
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, it comes
along with
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 drawbacks
such
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 as pollution, high migration and steep price increases in local markets, making it affordable and leaving an unviable option for the ingenious people. As a major benefit, undoubtedly, the
tourism
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 sector plays a crucial role in the economies of many
countries
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 like Turkey, France and the UAE. The surge in tourist numbers creates additional monetary value at tourist destinations.
For example
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,
tourism
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 alone accounts for 20% of Turkey's entire economy, allowing them to divert these resources to the advancement of other sectors that fell behind. In order to increase the number of visitors, tourist
countries
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 rigorously invest to develop their existing infrastructure
as well as
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 enhance the living conditions of their employees.
Furthermore
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,
tourism
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 promotes cultural exchange, allowing both visitors and hosts to learn about and appreciate different customs, traditions and ways of life. Resultantly,
this
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 mutual comprehension can foster global connections and goodwill. Despite these benefits aforementioned above,
tourism
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 can
also
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 have adverse effects. First of all, as a direct result of
tourism
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, each year many forests, parks and the entire flora and fauna are being destroyed by the increasing number of tourists.
Moreover
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,
due to
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 the increased demand in the peak seasons, regions can be overwhelmed, falling short of accommodating tourists. Bearing in mind the influence of
seasonality
Correct article usage
the seasonality
show examples
 factor on the local markets, especially real-estate prices have surged drastically, compelling natives to cope with these difficulties. In conclusion,
while
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tourism
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 offers a potential avenue for economic growth and cultural interaction, the scope of its drawbacks is expanding to a critical point, leading to a significant increase in local markets and environmental pollution.

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Coherence & Cohesion
Clarify and divide your arguments more distinctly to enhance readability and flow. Use separate paragraphs for distinct advantages and disadvantages.
Task Achievement
Try to provide more varied and specific examples to substantiate your points further. This will strengthen your argument and make your essay more persuasive.
Task Achievement
Your essay effectively addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of tourism, offering a balanced view.
Coherence & Cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion which nicely encapsulate your viewpoints.
Task Achievement
Good job on using countries like Turkey, France, and the UAE as examples to illustrate the economic benefits of tourism.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Revenue generation
  • Job creation
  • Economic stimulus
  • Cultural heritage
  • Heritage conservation
  • Infrastructure upgrades
  • Environmental degradation
  • Cultural assimilation
  • Commodification
  • Sustainable tourism
  • Economic volatility
  • Global market fluctuations
  • Transport advancements
  • Hospitality industry
  • Public service improvement
  • Ecological footprint
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