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Band 5

The government is spending a lot of money to discover life in other planets some people think that goverment isbwasting money and should spend more money on adressing problems of public. To what extent do you agree and disagree.

#government #money #life #planets #people #goverment
Some
people
 think
Correct article usage
the goverment
show examples
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 doing great by spending a lot of
money
 to discover life
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 other planets,
while
 others say that
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
 just wasting
money
.
This
 essay will discuss why
this
 is the case and the reason why I am happy about
goverments
Correct your spelling
government
governments
spendings
Fix the agreement mistake
spending
show examples
. On the one hand, it sounds like a waste, to spend
money
 to discover new
creatures
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
people
 who
doesn't
Change the verb form
don't
show examples
 believe in other lives.
People
 who think
this
 way
also
 claims that all kind of activities that targets other
creatures
 or
space
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
also
 worthless, like spaceships and rockets.
On the other hand
, I am in agreement with those who consider
space
spendings
Fix the agreement mistake
spending
show examples
are
Change the verb form
to be
show examples
 beneficial, because not only
we
Add a missing verb
do we
show examples
 learn new things, but
also
 the chance of discovering new
creatures
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 other planets
rise
Correct subject-verb agreement
rises
show examples
everytime
Replace the word
every time
show examples
 we try. The idea of aliens sounds sounds scary, but the idea of finding something alive from
space
 is way crazy, to
event
Correct your spelling
even
show examples
 think about the scary part of
this
 idea.
Moreover
, most of the problems of
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
 are not about
money
, they
are belongs
Change the verb form
belong
show examples
 to society,
their
Correct word choice
and their
show examples
 solutions are different.
Furthermore
, even if we can solve the problems of
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
 with
money
, why would
Correct article usage
the goverment
show examples
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
does
Correct subject-verb agreement
do
show examples
 it with the
money
 they
spent
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
space
, there are lots of
way
Change to a plural noun
ways
show examples
 to save
money
. In conclusion,
whereas
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
many
people
wants
Change the verb form
want
show examples
Correct article usage
the goverment
show examples
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 to stop trying to find new
creatures
. I side with those who think that if all
this
 ends with an alien we found, it will cost all the
money
 we are spending
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
right now.
Submitted by enver07600 on

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task achievement
You have provided a clear stance which is good. Try to add more specific examples or evidence to support your points to achieve a higher score in task achievement.
coherence cohesion
Though your essay has a logical structure, improving the transition between ideas can enhance coherence. Some paragraphs slightly lack cohesion due to abrupt statements.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are both present and relevant. They frame your essay well, which demonstrates a good understanding of essay structure.
task achievement
You have expressed clear and comprehensive ideas, and your main points are easy to understand. This is a significant strength.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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