Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that It is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Today, many
parents
enroll
their Change the spelling
enrol
children
in various courses or organized group classes. While
others give their children
the freedom to decide for themselves what they want to do. This
essay will explore both points of view. I believe parents
need to strike a balance when it comes to their daughters and sons. In my opinion, you can motivate them to participate in different activities and also
choose what they like.
On the one hand, our parents
do not wish us anything bad and want us to develop. In fact, children
who went to different clubs learned social skills like cooperation, teamwork and leadership faster than those who didn't. For example
, when they participate in various games and competitions such
as football, volleyball
, they realize the importance of teamwork and achieving a common goal. Correct word choice
and volleyball
In addition
, they develop their physical skills, coordination, and agility, which also
help them stay healthy and energetic.
Looking from the other side, many people believe that the child needs to decide for himself what to do in his free time. So, it helps them to use their imagination and creativity. They learn to think independently and make decisions on their own, without parental permission. Another plus is that when they are not forced to go to different activities, it helps them relax and feel calmer, which is very good for the child’s mental health. Thanks to
all Change preposition
apply
this
, it
allows the child to understand his interests and do what he likes.
In conclusion, Correct pronoun usage
apply
parents
should find a balance and a special approach to their child. Because it is important to pay attention to the development of their children
and ensure this
. It is important for them to be able to communicate with peers and to have good health. But you can’t do everything your own way, because children
should be able to explore their interests.Submitted by kamashzhazira on
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task achievement
The essay includes both views and the writer's own opinion, which is good for task achievement. However, it should have a more closely focused response to the prompt. Ensure that all paragraphs directly address the question asked.
coherence cohesion
The essay has an attempt at a logical structure with an introduction, body, and a conclusion. To improve, paragraphs should be more clearly delineated with one main idea per paragraph that is fully developed and supported by specific examples.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but they could be more effectively written to clearly state the topic and the writer's opinion. Use the conclusion to comprehensively summarize the views discussed and restate your opinion forcefully.
task achievement
The essay provides general examples to support the points made but lacks specificity. To enhance the task response score, provide more detailed and specific examples that are directly related to the argument being made.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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