IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Deforestation caused by human activity is happening in many parts of the world, with serious results for the enviroment. What do you think can be done to solve this problem?

#deforestation #activity #parts #world #results #enviroment
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Globaly
Correct your spelling
Globally
, forests are
dissapearing
Correct your spelling
disappearing
due to
 human activity which causes serious results for the environment. In
this
 essay, I will discuss the results
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the natural environment caused by building houses and the unsustainable choices made by people. In
addtion
Correct your spelling
addition
, I will provide potential solutions to the
challege
Correct your spelling
challenge
challenges
 of saving the forests by sharpening the consequences in terms of legal
action
 and recycling.
Firstly
, using natural resources
as
Correct quantifier usage
such as
show examples
 wood for development projects
elsewhere
 can result in
disasterous
Correct your spelling
disastrous
 floods in the area where the wood was taken from. Leaders of
such
 building projects should hand in a plan of
action
 before starting
to
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with
show examples
 a specialized organization
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 will provide the plan with feedback and
meeting
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meet
show examples
 with project managers regularly. Whenever the plan of
action
 is not followed, legal
action
 is taken to protect the forests.
Secondly
, society is making unsustainable choices using more paper and
carton
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cartons
show examples
 without looking at other options like recycling. Municipalities should take serious
action
on getting
Change preposition
to get
show examples
 their people to
recycling
Wrong verb form
recycle
show examples
.
This
 starts with awareness, everybody has to know what the consequences of using and
trowing
Correct your spelling
throwing
show examples
 away paper are.
In addition
, people need to learn how to recycle and what effect recycling has.
However
, the important task
lays
Replace the word
lies
show examples
 with the municipalities to put underground containers in every
neighborhood
Change the spelling
neighbourhood
show examples
 to enable residents to recycle efficiently. To summarise, deforestation is a frequently discussed subject worldwide. Strict control
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 development projects with consequences which cost organizations a lot of money will secure the forest from
unneccessary
Correct your spelling
unnecessary
 harm. Society
need
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needs
show examples
 to start recycling paper and
carton
Fix the agreement mistake
cartons
show examples
 which the municipalities provide information about.
Submitted by maria.vanwell on

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Grammar
Make sure to proofread your essay for small spelling errors (e.g., 'enviroment' should be 'environment', 'challege' should be 'challenge', 'dissapearing' should be 'disappearing', 'addtion' should be 'addition', 'trowing' should be 'throwing', 'lay' should be 'lies', 'unneccessary' should be 'unnecessary'). These minor mistakes can affect the overall impression.
Task Achievement
Ensure that all parts of the question are addressed thoroughly. For instance, you talked about the responsibility of leaders and municipalities but providing more specific cases or examples might strengthen your point.
Coherence and Cohesion
Add more transitions and linking words (e.g., 'furthermore', 'moreover', 'consequently') to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs. This will enhance coherence and cohesion.
Task Achievement
You have addressed the question and provided potential solutions to deforestation, such as legal action and recycling.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay is logically structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • deforestation
  • reforestation
  • afforestation
  • sustainable
  • eco-friendly
  • indigenous communities
  • logging regulations
  • land use management
  • public awareness
  • international cooperation
  • biodiversity loss
  • carbon footprint
  • habitat destruction
  • renewable resources
  • environmental preservation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: