In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Nowadays, fast
food
in some countries has become more popular than in the past because people
can find it easy to eat, and reduce time wasted in rush hour. Consuming too much fast food
leads to an increasing number of people
facing unhealthy situations. One
of the solutions is governments have to impose more taxes on fast food
. I agree that this
is one
way to reduce the problem, but it does not cover the core of the issue. In my view, the disagreement outweighs instead
.
For the benefit of the agreement, adding more taxes on fast food
will discourage people
from buying this
kind of food
. In fact, they will find an inexpensive one
. In contrast
, for example
, many poor people
in some cities like to buy cheese hamburgers because these are very cheap and they can easily afford them. However
, the imposition will affect a lot of low-class people
. Due to
higher prices from taxes, they hardly find cheap food
to eat and be starvations. This
can cause a lot of problems in the country.
On the other hand
, the disagreement, many high-class or rich people
still can reach fast food
because these groups consume it for other reasons not a cheap price. One
of them buys fast food
such
as hamburgers, french fries, soft drinks, and so on for delicious flavor
. They eat too much cause loving the taste and do not care or know about unhealthy results from fast Change the spelling
flavour
food
. In my view, the government should educate people
to have the knowledge about some diseases from fast food
. Moreover
, they have to suggest how many proportions of provisions are suitable for excellent health.
In conclusion, education and knowledge on the effects of fast food
is the key that governments have to create awareness about suffering in health. Thus
, this
will solve the current point and lead people
to consider eating less fast food
and choose more healthy ways to prevent many illnesses.Submitted by matty10
on
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task achievement
Your essay addresses the topic and provides a clear position. However, your introduction could be more concise. Consider revising it to state your position more directly at the beginning.
task achievement
Some ideas in your essay could be expressed more clearly. Try to avoid repetition and ensure that each paragraph has a singular, focused point.
coherence cohesion
You have logical arguments, but the transition between ideas needs improvement. Make sure that all paragraphs are clearly connected and that progression is easy to follow.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your introduction and conclusion are more structured. Your conclusion should succinctly summarize your main points and reinforce the thesis stated in your introduction.
supported main points
Your main points are well-supported with relevant examples. This shows a good understanding of the topic and strengthens your argument.
task achievement
You provided a well-balanced view by discussing both agreeing and disagreeing arguments which adds depth to your essay.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.
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