The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
In recent years, there
is
a compelling debate about the role of Wrong verb form
has been
science
in individuals’ lives
. While
most of them state that scientific measures should merely be limited to humans’ lives
, others believe that science
must be addressed the
whole globe which Change preposition
around the
direct
or Replace the word
directly
indirect
Replace the word
indirectly
have
effects on all human generations. Personally, I firmly adhere to Correct subject-verb agreement
has
second
notion in which all generations and any Change the article
the second
alive
creature must be regarded Correct word choice
living
important
.
Advocates, including me, suggest that people should experience a prosperous life. Change preposition
as important
In addition
, they deserve the best technologies and services, but these benefiting from globe’s
precious resources should not be in a selfish way. Correct article usage
the globe’s
It is clear that
science
in numerous ways comes to assist humans’ lives
, including medical health care and agricultural industries. Given the recent discoveries, such
as COVID-19
vaccine or an old invention like penicillin, scientists are of the opinion that these assistances of Correct article usage
the COVID-19
science
save countless lives
and transport the world
into better
place for life. Despite these life advancements, humans are constantly trying Add an article
a better
in polluting
the Change preposition
to pollute
world
; therefore
, the future world
is more likely be
a bad place for the coming generation.
Fix the infinitive
to be
On the other hand
, in agricultural works, agrarians make significant promoting in this
industry. Additionally
, these days, farmers have advanced instrument
and devices for benefiting from resources, Fix the agreement mistake
instruments
such
as weather, soil, water
in Correct word choice
and water
deeper
Add an article
the deeper
a deeper
layer
of ground. Fix the agreement mistake
layers
Therefore
, they can increase the yield in
main Change preposition
of
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
such
as wheat and rice. For example
, we are constantly observing the recent advancements in TV documentaries such
as the strawberries that have been tripled in size or watermelons which are blue in colour but are very sweat
and watery Replace the word
sweaty
and
etc. Correct word choice
apply
furthermore
, experts have manufactured exceptionally
pesticides that can kill the pests more efficient than the past. It is noticeable that enhanced pesticides have jeopardized neither human health nor animals’ Change the word
exceptional
lives
. Experts believe such
conservation improvements and considerate actions assist the whole world
.
In conclusion, although
humans significant right and share of living in the world
, I wholeheartedly believe that people should consider the right
of both the coming generations and any Fix the agreement mistake
rights
alive
creature Correct word choice
living
while
they use the whole valuable resources in the world
.Submitted by saharaqajani on
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task achievement
Your introduction sets up the debate well, but your thesis statement could be more clearly stated. Try summarizing your main argument in one clear sentence.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that reflects the main idea of the paragraph. This will improve the logical structure of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Some of your sentences are lengthy and can be broken down into simpler sentences for better understanding and clarity.
task achievement
When providing examples, try to link them more directly to your argument. This will make your points more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion is concise, but restating some of your main points from the body paragraphs will create a stronger summary.
task achievement
You have provided relevant examples to support your arguments, like the discussion about COVID-19 vaccine and agricultural advancements. This enhances the relevance and impact of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your essay follows a logical progression from one idea to the next, which reflects good organization.