IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#aim #science #people’s #lives
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In recent years, there
is
Wrong verb form
has been
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 a compelling debate about the role of
science
Use synonyms
 in individuals’
lives
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.
While
Linking Words
 most of them state that scientific measures should merely be limited to humans’
lives
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, others believe that
science
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 must be addressed
the
Change preposition
around the
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 whole globe which
direct
Replace the word
directly
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 or
indirect
Replace the word
indirectly
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have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 effects on all human generations. Personally, I firmly adhere to
second
Change the article
the second
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 notion in which all generations and any
alive
Correct word choice
living
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 creature must be regarded
important
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as important
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. Advocates, including me, suggest that people should experience a prosperous life.
In addition
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, they deserve the best technologies and services, but these benefiting from
globe’s
Correct article usage
the globe’s
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 precious resources should not be in a selfish way.
It is clear that
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science
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 in numerous ways comes to assist humans’
lives
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, including medical health care and agricultural industries. Given the recent discoveries,
such
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 as
COVID-19
Correct article usage
the COVID-19
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 vaccine or an old invention like penicillin, scientists are of the opinion that these assistances of
science
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 save countless
lives
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 and transport the
world
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 into
better
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a better
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 place for life. Despite these life advancements, humans are constantly trying
in polluting
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to pollute
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 the
world
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;
therefore
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, the future
world
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 is more likely
be
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to be
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 a bad place for the coming generation.
On the other hand
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, in agricultural works, agrarians make significant promoting in
this
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 industry.
Additionally
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, these days, farmers have advanced
instrument
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instruments
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 and devices for benefiting from resources,
such
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 as weather, soil,
water
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and water
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 in
deeper
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the deeper
a deeper
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layer
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layers
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 of ground.
Therefore
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, they can increase the yield
in
Change preposition
of
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 main
product
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products
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such
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 as wheat and rice.
For example
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, we are constantly observing the recent advancements in TV documentaries
such
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 as the strawberries that have been tripled in size or watermelons which are blue in colour but are very
sweat
Replace the word
sweaty
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 and watery
and
Correct word choice
apply
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etc.
furthermore
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, experts have manufactured
exceptionally
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exceptional
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 pesticides that can kill the pests more efficient than the past. It is noticeable that enhanced pesticides have jeopardized neither human health nor animals’
lives
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. Experts believe
such
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 conservation improvements and considerate actions assist the whole
world
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. In conclusion,
although
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 humans significant right and share of living in the
world
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, I wholeheartedly believe that people should consider the
right
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rights
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 of both the coming generations and any
alive
Correct word choice
living
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 creature
while
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 they use the whole valuable resources in the
world
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by saharaqajani on

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task achievement
Your introduction sets up the debate well, but your thesis statement could be more clearly stated. Try summarizing your main argument in one clear sentence.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that reflects the main idea of the paragraph. This will improve the logical structure of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Some of your sentences are lengthy and can be broken down into simpler sentences for better understanding and clarity.
task achievement
When providing examples, try to link them more directly to your argument. This will make your points more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion is concise, but restating some of your main points from the body paragraphs will create a stronger summary.
task achievement
You have provided relevant examples to support your arguments, like the discussion about COVID-19 vaccine and agricultural advancements. This enhances the relevance and impact of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your essay follows a logical progression from one idea to the next, which reflects good organization.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • enhancing
  • quality of human life
  • advancements
  • medicine
  • healthcare
  • scientific research
  • solving societal problems
  • improving living standards
  • global issues
  • climate change
  • food scarcity
  • technological advancements
  • limitations
  • negative consequences
  • ethical considerations
  • sustainability
  • environmental preservation
What to do next:
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