Shopping is becoming more and more popular as a leisure activity. However, some people feel that this has both positive and negative effects. Why is shopping so popular? What effects does its increase in popularity have on individuals and on society?

#leisure #activity #people #effects #popularity #individuals #society

In recent years, shopping has turned over to become an enjoyable activity and fun.

However

, people think there are two sides to

this

activity a positive and a negative side. In the following text, I will explain both views and share my personal opinion.

Firstly

, a lot of families go to the mall, market, stores and shops to buy various stuff for their personal daily needs and for their kids.

Furthermore

, they go to malls to have fun times with their kids and share the excitement of purchasing home supplies.

In addition

, going to fast food in malls and having a delicious meal with the family.

Also

, it will increase society's wealth by growing buyer attitudes toward paying more cash for the economy.

On the other hand

, shopping hoppy

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

has a lot of negative effects on the community and individuals.

For instance

, buying unnecessary items using a credit card will increase debts and burden the buyers with extra cash,

Consequently

, the community will be affected by increasing household debts which leads by the end to lower market buying patterns. In conclusion, expanding shopping has positive and negative sides on people and society. In my opinion, the fast rise of shopping is having a negative effect on the population and the community because they buy only for fun and burden their budgets with extra money not necessary at all.

Submitted by basemhamedd on Thu Aug 01 2024

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task achievement

The essay needs to delve a bit deeper into both the positive and negative effects, providing more specific examples and explanations. For instance, how does increased spending boost the economy? Can you think of specific personal or societal downsides beyond debt?

coherence cohesion

Try to ensure that each paragraph flows logically to the next. The introduction and conclusion are good, but the body paragraphs can benefit from smoother transitions to improve the overall flow.

overall

There are minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasings. For example, 'turned over to become' should be 'has turned into,' and 'on the community and individuals' should likely be 'on individuals and the community.'

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are well structured, offering a clear view of what will be discussed and summarizing the main points effectively.

task achievement

You address both sides of the argument, considering both positive and negative effects of shopping as a leisure activity.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

228 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

leisure activity
consumer culture
emotional satisfaction
consumerism
advertising influence
online shopping platforms
sense of pleasure
social interaction
boost the economy
compulsive shopping
materialism
environmental degradation
unsustainable demand
social inequalities
status through possessions

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Shopping is becoming more and more popular as a leisure activity. However, some people feel that this has both positive and negative effects. Why is shopping so popular? What effects does its increase in popularity have on individuals and on society?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people say that it is a waste of time to plan for the future and that it is important to focus on the present. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Many people think that money is important to achieve happiness. What is the importance of money to happiness? Give reasons for your answer and include examples from your experience.

The population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Why is that

An increasing number of professionals, such as doctors and teachers, are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. What problems does this cause? What can be done to deal with this situation?