In Some Countries young people are encourage to work for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies discuss advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this

#countries #people #work #year #school #university #studies

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Many nations encourage their younger generation to

work

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for a year in the gap between school graduation and university admission.

This

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essay enumerates the pros and cons of

this

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decision by the

students

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To begin

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with, many of the universities in the West advise their prospective undergraduate

students

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work

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for some time, preferably a year.

This

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has numerous advantages and a few are worth mentioning. It helps

students

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to develop personally and improves cohesion when working within a team.

For example

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, medical undergraduates are advised to

work

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for the NHS in the UK before admission to the course. Another benefit of working is financial independence.

Students

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can pay their bills and save for future expenditures,

such

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as books, laptops etc.

On the contrary

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, there are some adversities with

this

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system. The major drawback is that a student, who joins

this

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, will lose a year than his counterpart, which may interfere with jobs after the course. The competition for employment is evidently high and

this

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will be a significant hurdle for the student to find a livelihood after studies.

In addition

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, when

students

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work

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, these job opportunities are lost as many firms will not allocate these vacancies to the open labour market because

students

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will cover the leave.

To conclude

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, there are benefits and drawbacks for

students

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working in between schooling and collegiate education. Governments can intervene to reduce the cons to make it a better option

such

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as giving more weightage for

this

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work

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when applying for a related job.

Submitted by krishnabalu1984 on Fri Aug 02 2024

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task achievement

You have provided a clear and comprehensive response to the task with relevant examples. To improve, you could add more specific global examples to strengthen your arguments further.

coherence cohesion

Your essay is logically structured with an effective introduction and conclusion. To enhance cohesion, consider using more varied linking words and phrases to connect ideas smoothly.

task achievement

The introduction effectively outlines the topic and sets the stage for the discussion, and both advantages and disadvantages are well-covered.

coherence cohesion

Your essay is well-organized with clear paragraphs, making it easy for the reader to follow your arguments.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

251 words

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In Some Countries young people are encourage to work for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies discuss advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

a growing number of people feel that animal should not be exploited while other argue humans must employ animals for research and foods. discuss both views

Some children spend hours everday on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

You took your family to a nearby restaurant.you were disapointed with the meal and wish to complain to the manager. Write a letter to the manager of the restaurant.