In Some Countries young people are encourage to work for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies discuss advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this

Many nations encourage their younger generation to
work
for a year in the gap between school graduation and university admission.
This
essay enumerates the pros and cons of
this
decision by the
students
.
To begin
with, many of the universities in the West advise their prospective undergraduate
students
to
work
for some time, preferably a year.
This
has numerous advantages and a few are worth mentioning. It helps
students
to develop personally and improves cohesion when working within a team.
For example
, medical undergraduates are advised to
work
for the NHS in the UK before admission to the course. Another benefit of working is financial independence.
Students
can pay their bills and save for future expenditures,
such
as books, laptops etc.
On the contrary
, there are some adversities with
this
system. The major drawback is that a student, who joins
this
, will lose a year than his counterpart, which may interfere with jobs after the course. The competition for employment is evidently high and
this
will be a significant hurdle for the student to find a livelihood after studies.
In addition
, when
students
work
, these job opportunities are lost as many firms will not allocate these vacancies to the open labour market because
students
will cover the leave.
To conclude
, there are benefits and drawbacks for
students
working in between schooling and collegiate education. Governments can intervene to reduce the cons to make it a better option
such
as giving more weightage for
this
work
when applying for a related job.
Submitted by krishnabalu1984 on

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task achievement
You have provided a clear and comprehensive response to the task with relevant examples. To improve, you could add more specific global examples to strengthen your arguments further.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is logically structured with an effective introduction and conclusion. To enhance cohesion, consider using more varied linking words and phrases to connect ideas smoothly.
task achievement
The introduction effectively outlines the topic and sets the stage for the discussion, and both advantages and disadvantages are well-covered.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-organized with clear paragraphs, making it easy for the reader to follow your arguments.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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