Some people think that family has the most powerful influence on a child’s development, while others think that other factors such as television, friend, music have the biggest effects. Discuss both views and give your opinion?
There has been a constant debate about whether the family has the biggest impact on
children
's growth, or whether elements surrounding them have the most powerful influence. In this
essay, I will discuss both opinions and give my opinion on this
.
On the one hand, some people
suggest that it is family that has a tremendous impact on a child
's life. It is true that children
are parents
' reflection. Although
there are multiple aspects that may affect a child
's opinion and perspective, parents
still remain the biggest influence, as they play an irreplaceable role in educating and nurturing a child
from birth. For instance
, the Harvard Study of Adult Development
has shown that warm relationships with parents
during childhood are associated with better physical health and emotional well-being in adulthood, highlighting the link between a happy family and a positive child
. Thus
, it is easy to understand why a number of people
hold this
side in the debate mentioned.
On the other hand
, a number of people
believe that different social factors heavily impact children
. Nowadays, with the development
of the Internet comes the high level of exposure of kids to TV shows, trends and music. For example
, according to
the Kaiser Family Foundation, children
aged 8-18 spend on average over 7.5 hours a day consuming media, including television. This
is often more time than they spend with their parents
during weekdays. As a result
, it is evident that a majority of people
find the relationship and similarities between kids and online entertainment clear.
In conclusion, while
both sides have reasonable explanations and solid proof for their beliefs, I strongly argue that parents
are still the primary source of influence in terms of their offspring's development
, as they are the primary caregivers and role models and responsive parenting, where parents
are attentive to their child
’s needs and cues, promotes secure attachment and healthy emotional development
.Submitted by minhlieu.hnd on
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task achievement
Your essay addresses both sides of the topic effectively and provides your own opinion, which is essential for the task response. However, try to provide a counter-argument or a concession to strengthen your position.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and flows smoothly to the next. Although your coherence and cohesion are generally strong, adding a few more linking phrases could further improve the logical flow.
coherence cohesion
Both the introduction and the conclusion are well-structured, clearly presenting the topic and summarizing your opinion.
task achievement
The essay includes relevant and specific examples, such as references to studies, which support your main arguments effectively.