At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
In
this
modern world, Linking Words
technology
has created a big impact on the generation. Some Use synonyms
people
believe, Nowadays the vast number of young Use synonyms
people
's population is higher than the old generation Use synonyms
people
's count. Use synonyms
While
it is true every topic has its own advantages and disadvantages. In Linking Words
this
essay, I will explain the various advantages of the topic and demonstrate why they hold great significance compared to disadvantages.
Linking Words
To begin
with, one prominent advantage is that, they have more Linking Words
technology
Use synonyms
knowledge
. To illustrate Use synonyms
this
, at present, the world is modified with the latest Linking Words
technology
updates, which are created by a new generation, and they are useful for the growth of many Use synonyms
country
. Change to a plural noun
countries
Moreover
, all schools, institutions, and universities Linking Words
also
introduce new technologies Linking Words
such
as online classes and online studies. Linking Words
Therefore
, a younger population is needed for all growing countries. Linking Words
For example
, At the University of Japan, statics students' research results were surprising. They tested adults' and old gene Linking Words
people
’s Use synonyms
technology
side Use synonyms
knowledge
, 65% of the older crowd was down with Use synonyms
technology
Use synonyms
knowledge
.
Use synonyms
On the other hand
, it will lead to cultural disorder. To brief, nowadays many youngsters try to copy Western culture, Linking Words
therefore
, the country's culture will be affected. Linking Words
For instance
, young Linking Words
people
spoil their valuable time with unnecessary entertainment Use synonyms
such
as nightclubs.
In conclusion, Linking Words
While
, it has disadvantages Linking Words
such
as it will lead to cultural disorder, The advantage, of youngsters having more Linking Words
technology
Use synonyms
knowledge
offers is undeniable. Use synonyms
Therefore
. I strongly believe the advantages far outweigh the drawbacks.Linking Words
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task achievement
Your essay's response covers both advantages and disadvantages, but it would benefit from deeper analysis and stronger arguments. Try to elaborate more on your points to provide a complete and compelling response.
coherence and cohesion
Improve logical structure by making sure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea. Use transitional phrases more effectively to guide the reader through your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay contains an introduction and conclusion, which is good. However, aim for more nuanced conclusions and ensure your introduction is more engaging.
task achievement
Good use of relevant examples, especially in the second paragraph where you provided a statistic from a study. This strengthens your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion successfully summarizes the main points and offers a clear standpoint.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.