Some people think that family has the most powerful influence on a child’s development, while others think that other factors such as television, friend, music have the biggest effects. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

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In society,

families

Use synonyms

hold the biggest influence over their child’s education and enhancement.

Otherwise

Linking Words

, other factors

such

Linking Words

friend

Fix the agreement mistake

friends

show examples

television

Use synonyms

, and

child’s

Correct article usage

a child’s

show examples

outside environment

also

Linking Words

play a huge part

Change preposition

show examples

their development.

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss both opinions. Over the years, the responsibilities of

families

Use synonyms

are to embrace and guide their

offsprings

Fix the agreement mistake

offspring

show examples

to lead a better life ahead. Ultimately, kids will spend most of their day with family,

hence

Linking Words

the

Use synonyms

families

Change noun form

family's

families'

show examples

dominations are greater than any other factors.

For instance

Linking Words

, kids

that

Correct pronoun usage

who

show examples

showered with love at home will eventually become

a caring

Correct the article-noun agreement

a caring child

caring children

show examples

children

Use synonyms

to others.

Thus

Linking Words

, it is crucial for parents to understand their

offsprings

Fix the agreement mistake

offspring

show examples

so that parent can

give

Verb problem

have

show examples

a meaningful impact

for

Change preposition

show examples

their

children

Use synonyms

Nevertheless

Linking Words

, other aspects that

surroundings

Correct your spelling

surrounding

show examples

children

Use synonyms

such

Linking Words

as friends, school,

Use synonyms

television

Correct word choice

and television

show examples

, can

also

Linking Words

affect

toddlers

Change noun form

toddlers'

toddler's

show examples

development.

For example

Linking Words

, it is known that around

year

Change the article

the year

show examples

2010 many

children

Use synonyms

got

Verb problem

were

show examples

affected by violent

television

Use synonyms

programs, making their behaviour aggressive

Change preposition

toward

show examples

their parents and friends.

However

Linking Words

, the domination of

outer

Correct article usage

the outer

show examples

environment to the youngster

cound

Correct your spelling

can

be monitored by their

families

Use synonyms

Families

Use synonyms

can prevent their

child

Fix the agreement mistake

children

show examples

to watch

Change preposition

from watching

show examples

any dangerous

television

Use synonyms

program at home and parents can filter which fine school to send their

offsprings

Fix the agreement mistake

offspring

show examples

Change preposition

to.

show examples

Hence

Linking Words

, the closest people

such

Linking Words

as family hold a greater influence over the

children

Use synonyms

than anything else. In conclusion, it is true that both family and outer environment

give

Verb problem

have

show examples

impact

Correct article usage

an impact

show examples

into

Change preposition

show examples

kids’s

Remove the s

kids’

show examples

andavement

Correct your spelling

management

. In spite of that,

families

Use synonyms

are still the closest people

exist

Verb problem

apply

show examples

to their toddlers resulting

their

Change preposition

in their

show examples

domination

are

Wrong verb form

being

show examples

the most powerful over others.

annisaseptidwiyantiFri Aug 02 2024

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task achievement

Your essay addresses the core of the task by discussing both views on the influence of family and other factors on a child's development and providing your opinion. However, ensure you provide clearer and more specific examples to strengthen your points. For instance, instead of mentioning "violent television programs" in general, you could name specific types of programs or scenarios.

coherence cohesion

The logical structure of your essay is generally clear, with distinct sections for discussing family influence and external factors. Yet, the transition between these sections can be improved for smoother flow. Using cohesive devices such as transitional phrases (e.g., "On the other hand," or "In contrast") will aid in this.

coherence cohesion

Your essay is well-organized with a clear introduction and conclusion, making it easy to follow your argument. You stay on topic and provide valid points for both perspectives.

task achievement

You have shown an ability to discuss different viewpoints and substantiate your claims with supportive arguments. Your conclusion effectively summarizes the insights presented.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
30
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

253 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

primary influence
development
instill values
norms
emotional foundation
social skills
role modeling
socioeconomic status
opportunities
resources
external factors
peer influence
teenage years
impact mood
cultural understanding
environment
role models
social media
shaping modern childhoods

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Some people think that family has the most powerful influence on a child’s development, while others think that other factors such as television, friend, music have the biggest effects. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

Your opinion

Today much of the food people eat gets transported from farms that are thousands of miles away. Some people believe it would be better for the environment and the economy if people only consumed food produced by local farmers. Would the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think that environmental problems are too big for individuals to solve, while others think that the government cannot solve these environmental problems unless individuals make some action. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Children are facing more pressures nowadays from academic, social and commercial perspectives. What are the causes of these pressures and what measures should be taken to reduce these pressures?