Some people think that wild animals should not be kept in zoos. Others believe that there are good reasons for having zoos. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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In today's society,people's perspectives on wild
animals
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has
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have
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shown divergence.
Therefore
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,the question of whether wild
animals
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should be kept
on
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in
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zoos
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has become a matter of considerable debate.
This
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essay will explore both viewpoints and I believe that keeping
animals
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in
zoos
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brings about numerous benefits. On one hand,
adovates
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advocates
of wild
animals
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not being captived in
zoos
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contend that it is
a
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an
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ethically wrongful practice,which leads to the
undermiming
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undermining
of
animals
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' freedom.
Moreover
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,especially in a wide range of wild
animals
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,they need more spacious spaces to live and move,
such
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as lions,tigers,and kangaroos.Even more importantly,keeping those in
zoos
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may impact the ecosystem,as they play a
curcial
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crucial
role in
balacing
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balancing
the food chain.It contributes to disrupting the environment in
manyaspects
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many aspects
.
Additionally
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,when wild
animals
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be
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are
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kept in
zoos
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,it may result in the degradation of natural ability over time.
On the other hand
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,proponents of keeping those in
zoos
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assert
that is
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an effective approach to protecting a variety of
animals
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.
For instance
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,numerous wild
animals
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face the risk of disappearance.
However
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,
zoos
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can offer
more
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a more
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stable and safer environment for them,ensuring
animals
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not facing diverse threats,
such
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as predators and
nutural
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natural
disasters.
This
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,in turn,
make
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makes
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it easier to maintain
the
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apply
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biodiversity.
Futhermore
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Furthermore
,
this
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measure
also
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provides an opportunity with people to
appreaciate
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appreciate
various wild
animals
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,thereby gaining a deeper
understanging
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understanding
of these stunning and valuable creatures. For the reasons mentioned above,it seems to me that keeping wild
animals
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in
zoos
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contibutes
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contributes
to many
advatages
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advantages
,
such
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as
echancing
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increasing
the levels of protection,avoiding the risk of natural
damge
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damage
,and increasing the opportunities
of
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for
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education-all
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education
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of
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apply
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which benefit both
animals
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and people.

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coherence cohesion
Your essay contains all necessary parts: an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the logical transition between ideas could be smoother. Consider using more linking phrases like 'however,' 'on the contrary,' and 'similarly.'
task achievement
Your main points are mostly supported, but some arguments could use more concrete examples or evidence. Try to include specific examples that illustrate your points in a more vivid way.
coherence cohesion
There are minor grammatical errors and typos that disrupt the flow of reading (e.g., 'adovates,' 'captived,' 'undermiming'). Proofreading your essay for such errors will improve clarity and readability.
task achievement
The essay responds well to the prompt and discusses both viewpoints clearly. This demonstrates a good understanding of the task.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion ties back to the main points discussed and provides a clear opinion, which helps reinforce the essay’s arguments.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • captivity
  • natural habitat
  • artificial enclosures
  • genetic diversity
  • animal welfare
  • conservation efforts
  • endangered species
  • biodiversity
  • education platform
  • breeding programs
  • reintroduction
  • psychological suffering
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