Task 2: Medical research is essential to improve health and deal with diseases. Who do you think should fund these researches: private companies, individuals or the government?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Studies and
research
Use synonyms
in the medical field are crucial to provide us with answers for many issues that are related to health. I believe that
this
Linking Words
research
Use synonyms
should be supported by the
Government
Use synonyms
, but not private
companies
Use synonyms
and individuals, to avoid bias as many care about themselves , not about the nation.
Also
Linking Words
, when it is funded by the
government
Use synonyms
the
research
Use synonyms
might be applied on a wider range.
First,
Linking Words
many private
companies
Use synonyms
and individuals try to
use
Use synonyms
research
Use synonyms
as a method to convince
people
Use synonyms
to purchase their products. As
people
Use synonyms
tend to believe information released in
research
Use synonyms
, some
companies
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
published studies as a method of advertisement for what they have.
Hence
Linking Words
, the
government
Use synonyms
should check that
this
Linking Words
research
Use synonyms
has been done transparently before releasing it to others.
For example
Linking Words
, during COVID-19 19 many
companies
Use synonyms
tried to
use
Use synonyms
research
Use synonyms
to show the
government
Use synonyms
and
people
Use synonyms
that their vaccine is the solution.
Secondly
Linking Words
, being funded by the
government
Use synonyms
will give the researchers the accessibility to many facilities and a large spectrum of individuals. Having the ability to
use
Use synonyms
governmental laboratories, hospitals and many other things, will ease the process of doing the
research
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, their
research
Use synonyms
will be published on many websites that are related to the
government
Use synonyms
, so their
research
Use synonyms
will be more useful for others.
For example
Linking Words
, many
people
Use synonyms
trust the
research
Use synonyms
that is
Linking Words
released on the Australian
government
Use synonyms
pages because they believe that caring about the community is one of the
government
Use synonyms
's priorities. In conclusion, medical
research
Use synonyms
is key to creating a healthy nation, as it will find solutions for many medical obstacles, I think that the
government
Use synonyms
should fund
this
Linking Words
research
Use synonyms
as it will benefit their citizen and not damage them.
Submitted by okalqusay on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your essay presents a clear stance on the topic and provides reasons for supporting the idea that the government should fund medical research. However, you should aim to delve deeper into the counterarguments and address them. Exploring different aspects of government funding could enrich your discussion and demonstrate critical thinking.
task achievement
Ensure your main points are always directly linked to your thesis. For example, you might consider why the breadth of government-funded research can be more advantageous compared to privately funded research in more specific terms.
task achievement
Try to avoid minor grammatical mistakes and awkward phrasing for a higher score. For instance, refine sentences like 'many care about themselves, not about the nation' to be more precise.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is clearly structured with a distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. To elevate your score, enhance transitions between ideas within paragraphs and ensure each paragraph ties back to your central thesis.
coherence cohesion
Work on providing more nuanced transitions between paragraphs to ensure a smooth flow of ideas. This would help in making your arguments more coherent.
coherence cohesion
Try to enhance your sentence variety and complexity to make your writing more engaging. Using different structures can help maintain the reader's interest and showcase your language skills.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear and logical structure, with a well-defined introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
task achievement
You provide relevant and specific examples to support your points, which strengthens your arguments.
task achievement
The essay stays focused on the topic throughout, maintaining a clear stance on who should fund medical research.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • essential
  • improve health
  • deal with diseases
  • private companies
  • individuals
  • government
  • fund
  • contribute
  • allocate funds
  • combination
  • parties
What to do next:
Look at other essays: