Task 2: Medical research is essential to improve health and deal with diseases. Who do you think should fund these researches: private companies, individuals or the government?
Studies and
research
in the medical field are crucial to provide us with answers for many issues that are related to health. I believe that Use synonyms
this
Linking Words
research
should be supported by the Use synonyms
Government
, but not private Use synonyms
companies
and individuals, to avoid bias as many care about themselves , not about the nation. Use synonyms
Also
, when it is funded by the Linking Words
government
the Use synonyms
research
might be applied on a wider range.
Use synonyms
First,
many private Linking Words
companies
and individuals try to Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
research
as a method to convince Use synonyms
people
to purchase their products. As Use synonyms
people
tend to believe information released in Use synonyms
research
, some Use synonyms
companies
Use synonyms
use
published studies as a method of advertisement for what they have. Use synonyms
Hence
, the Linking Words
government
should check that Use synonyms
this
Linking Words
research
has been done transparently before releasing it to others. Use synonyms
For example
, during COVID-19 19 many Linking Words
companies
tried to Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
research
to show the Use synonyms
government
and Use synonyms
people
that their vaccine is the solution.
Use synonyms
Secondly
, being funded by the Linking Words
government
will give the researchers the accessibility to many facilities and a large spectrum of individuals. Having the ability to Use synonyms
use
governmental laboratories, hospitals and many other things, will ease the process of doing the Use synonyms
research
. Use synonyms
Furthermore
, their Linking Words
research
will be published on many websites that are related to the Use synonyms
government
, so their Use synonyms
research
will be more useful for others. Use synonyms
For example
, many Linking Words
people
trust the Use synonyms
research
Use synonyms
that is
released on the Australian Linking Words
government
pages because they believe that caring about the community is one of the Use synonyms
government
's priorities.
In conclusion, medical Use synonyms
research
is key to creating a healthy nation, as it will find solutions for many medical obstacles, I think that the Use synonyms
government
should fund Use synonyms
this
Linking Words
research
as it will benefit their citizen and not damage them.Use synonyms
Submitted by okalqusay on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Your essay presents a clear stance on the topic and provides reasons for supporting the idea that the government should fund medical research. However, you should aim to delve deeper into the counterarguments and address them. Exploring different aspects of government funding could enrich your discussion and demonstrate critical thinking.
task achievement
Ensure your main points are always directly linked to your thesis. For example, you might consider why the breadth of government-funded research can be more advantageous compared to privately funded research in more specific terms.
task achievement
Try to avoid minor grammatical mistakes and awkward phrasing for a higher score. For instance, refine sentences like 'many care about themselves, not about the nation' to be more precise.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is clearly structured with a distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. To elevate your score, enhance transitions between ideas within paragraphs and ensure each paragraph ties back to your central thesis.
coherence cohesion
Work on providing more nuanced transitions between paragraphs to ensure a smooth flow of ideas. This would help in making your arguments more coherent.
coherence cohesion
Try to enhance your sentence variety and complexity to make your writing more engaging. Using different structures can help maintain the reader's interest and showcase your language skills.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear and logical structure, with a well-defined introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
task achievement
You provide relevant and specific examples to support your points, which strengthens your arguments.
task achievement
The essay stays focused on the topic throughout, maintaining a clear stance on who should fund medical research.