IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people think young people should be required to have full-time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Some
people
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 believe that young
people
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 should stay in full-time
education
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 until they are at least 18. I completely agree with
this
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 idea because
education
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 provides essential knowledge and life skills which are necessary for both personal and professional development. When young
people
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 remain in
school
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, until 18, they gain a broader understanding of academic subjects which prepares them for higher
education
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 or skilled jobs. If
students
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 leave
school
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 too early, they may not develop critical thinking or problem-solving abilities which are increasingly important in modern careers.
For example
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, many professions now require a minimum high
school
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 qualification which means early dropouts may struggle to find stable employment.
In addition
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,
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school
Add an article
the school
show examples
 offers more than just academic knowledge. It is
also
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 a place where
students
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 learn how to interact with others and manage responsibilities. These soft skills are crucial for becoming independent adults.
Students
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 who stay in
education
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 longer tend to show more maturity and confidence when entering the workforce or higher
education
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. Some
people
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 may argue that not all
students
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 are suited for academic learning and some might prefer to work or receive vocational training.
However
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, full-time
education
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 can include technical and career-based programs that allow
students
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 to follow practical paths
while
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 still completing their basic
education
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.
As a result
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, they will obtain more skills. In conclusion, I strongly support the idea that young
people
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 should stay in full-time
education
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 until 18. It ensures they are better equipped for the future and helps reduce social problems linked to unemployment and lack of qualifications.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that encapsulates the main idea you're discussing in that paragraph. This will enhance the logical flow of your argument.
task achievement
While your ideas are generally well-developed, providing a few more specific examples could strengthen your arguments and make them more compelling.
task achievement
Consider addressing counterarguments more thoroughly by explaining why some forms of education (like vocational training) may still fit within the framework of full-time education rather than just dismissing them.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly states your opinion and the reasons behind it, setting a strong foundation for your argument.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is well-structured and flows logically, with effective transitions between points that make it easy to follow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • comprehensive education
  • intellectual growth
  • emotional growth
  • social growth
  • evolving job market
  • specialized knowledge
  • extended education
  • reducing inequality
  • essential competencies
  • vocational training
  • economic impact
  • financial constraints
  • infrastructure
  • stress and burnout
  • personal aspirations
  • career aspirations
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