The internet has brought about many changes into our day to day life. Nowadays we are doing things such as mailing, communication much faster. Do these developments have more advantages than disadvantages?
Internet
has made significant changes in out
daily lives. In Correct your spelling
our
the
recent years, these Correct article usage
apply
development
Fix the agreement mistake
developments
has
made Correct subject-verb agreement
have
out
our Change preposition
apply
coommunication
faster and more efficient. Correct your spelling
communication
communications
Although
internet
advancement has numerous advantages, but
it has its own Remove the conjunction
apply
disadvantages
which cannot be neglected. This
essay will explore the benefits and drawbacks of internet
advancement and explain how the advantages outweigh its disadvantages
with reasoned examples.
To begin
with, internet
comes with many advantages Add an article
the internet
such
as improved communication, ease in
information Change preposition
of
accessiblity
, and social connectivity. Primarily, The Correct your spelling
accessibility
internet
connect
everyone globally through its Change the verb form
connects
its
Remove the redundancy
apply
imporved
communication and ease in Correct your spelling
improved
speed
of communication with instant messaging, video calls and virtual meetings. Add an article
the speed
Similarly
, it's
social connectivity has connected distant family and friends Replace the word
its
as well as
new people
in the world. For instance
, where businessmen and general thousand of dollors
used to spend Correct your spelling
dollars
thousand
of Correct your spelling
thousands
dollors
, now Correct your spelling
dollars
people
can meet anyone from anywhere.
Secondly
, on one
Correct article usage
the one
hand
Add a comma
hand,
this
ease in
accessing information through Change preposition
of
internet
has made Add an article
the internet
people
to
gain information, Change the verb form
apply
reasearch
news and DIY tutorials, Correct your spelling
research
while
on other
Correct article usage
the other
this
has become an education
opportunity for Replace the word
educational
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
accessing
countless online courses and Change the verb form
to access
education
resources. Replace the word
educational
Moreover
, with the connectivity gained through internet
student can target their ideal opportunity from anywhere and work on their professional development.
Correct article usage
the internet
However
, despite its numerous benefits some of its disadvantages
have made people
vulnerable from using it. To illustrate, several studies conducted globally has
revealed digital Correct subject-verb agreement
have
addcition
, making Correct your spelling
addiction
people
lose their sense of responsibility towards their family and their personal growth. Additionally
, digital hacking have
made many lose their entire wealth on Change the verb form
has
internet
. Not to deny, but Add an article
the internet
its
Change the pronoun
it
also
divides people
with inequality in accessing the internet
. These were some of the most significant disadvantages
which are needed
to be considered.
In conclusion, Wrong verb form
that need
while
the internet
offers numerous benefits for users of all ages, including educational resources for students and the ability to connect people
globally, it also
presents challenges. Many individuals distrust the internet
due to
a lack of knowledge and fear of financial loss. To address these disadvantages
, the government should implement initiatives such
as awareness campaigns to educate people
on how to protect themselves online.Submitted by nick
on
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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, consider making the transitions between paragraphs smoother. This helps the essay flow better and makes it easier for the reader to follow your argument.
task achievement
Although you have a good number of relevant points, make sure each point is supported by a strong, specific example. This can help strengthen your argument and provide evidence for your claims.
task achievement
Try to minimize grammatical errors and typos to improve clarity and professionalism. For example, 'out' should be 'our', and 'addcition' should be 'addiction'.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which adds structure to the argument.
task achievement
The main points are clearly stated and relevant to the topic, which shows a good understanding of the task.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example