IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Child labour is considered to be one of the most serious problems ob the planet. What are the reasons why children find themselves in child labour and can be done to tackle this issue ?

#child #labour #ob #planet #children
Childern
Correct your spelling
Child
labour
 is considered to be
one
 of the better serious effects
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 world.The reasons are
child
Wrong verb form
that children
show examples
 support themselves in
labour
 and can be done to tackle
this
 issue.It is useful to
considered
Wrong verb form
consider
show examples
problems
 in life. In
this
 essay, the two
viewopints
Correct your spelling
viewpoints
wiil
Correct your spelling
will
 be argued. on the
one
 hand, there were the
childern
Correct your spelling
children
Correct pronoun usage
who utilize
show examples
utilize
Wrong verb form
utilised
show examples
 good things
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the
governmant
Correct your spelling
government
. the initial
one
 to consider is that boys and
girals
Correct your spelling
girls
 generate noise in
garden
Add an article
the garden
show examples
.
For example
, there were animals
their
Correct your spelling
there
show examples
 and trees ,
Correct word choice
and flower
show examples
flower
Fix the agreement mistake
flowers
show examples
receive
Verb problem
apply
show examples
.
Also
, the young
childern
Correct your spelling
children
 cut amazing trees
such
 as
famous
Correct article usage
the famous
show examples
one
 there.
In addition
, the number of cases in recent years much
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
throw
Wrong verb form
throwing
show examples
 rubbish
for example
 home and school.
For instance
,you should supply young
childern
Correct your spelling
children
rols
Correct your spelling
with
 how to keep and save the planet.
Furthermore
, there
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 the most serious
problems
west
Correct word choice
in Western
show examples
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 and social.
On the other hand
, there was a wonderful solution for boys and girls how to save the planet.
The
Correct article usage
First
show examples
first,
parents should
learn
Verb problem
teach
show examples
 their
childern
Correct your spelling
children
 many
typs
Correct your spelling
types
. Take
for example
, if they
cleaning
Wrong verb form
clean
show examples
garden
Add an article
the garden
show examples
, it will be a great view and get power,
energy
Correct word choice
and energy
show examples
.
Also
,
the
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
child
 should find themselves
to sikp
Verb problem
making
show examples
 mistakes
such
 as rubbish,
Correct word choice
and cut
show examples
cut
Wrong verb form
cutting
show examples
 trees. In conclusion, the
problems
ob
Correct your spelling
of
show examples
 the
would
Correct your spelling
world
show examples
 that the most serious for
child
labour
. From my own personal point of view
Add a comma
,
show examples
a lot of humans need more information
child
Change preposition
on child
show examples
labour
. It is better to exchange our experience about
this
 issue. If we
uesd
Correct your spelling
used
 modern education, we would get new information
a bout
Correct your spelling
about
show examples
save
Replace the word
saving
show examples
 the
problems
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the planet.
people
Capitalize word
People
show examples
 should do
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
better typs of life.
Submitted by shaikhaalrashidi24 on

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task achievement
Focus on addressing both the causes and solutions of child labor as the prompt asks. Ensure each idea is clearly explained and supported with relevant specific examples.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow of ideas within your paragraphs. Use clearer topic sentences and transitions between points. Ensure each paragraph has one main idea that’s fully developed.
coherence cohesion
Work on expanding ideas. Instead of listing problems and solutions, elaborate on each point to make your argument more persuasive. Use evidence and examples to back up your points.
task achievement
You have attempted to address both aspects of the essay prompt, identifying problems and solutions related to child labor.
coherence cohesion
You included an introduction and conclusion which shows a clear overall structure in your essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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