IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Child labour is considered to be one of the most serious problems ob the planet. What are the reasons why children find themselves in child labour and can be done to tackle this issue ?

#child #labour #ob #planet #children
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Use synonyms
Childern
Correct your spelling
Child
labour
Use synonyms
 is considered to be
one
Use synonyms
 of the better serious effects
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 world.The reasons are
Use synonyms
child
Wrong verb form
that children
show examples
 support themselves in
labour
Use synonyms
 and can be done to tackle
this
Linking Words
 issue.It is useful to
considered
Wrong verb form
consider
show examples
problems
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 in life. In
this
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 essay, the two
viewopints
Correct your spelling
viewpoints
wiil
Correct your spelling
will
 be argued. on the
one
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 hand, there were the
Use synonyms
childern
Correct your spelling
children
Correct pronoun usage
who utilize
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utilize
Wrong verb form
utilised
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 good things
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the
governmant
Correct your spelling
government
. the initial
one
Use synonyms
 to consider is that boys and
girals
Correct your spelling
girls
 generate noise in
garden
Add an article
the garden
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, there were animals
their
Correct your spelling
there
show examples
 and trees ,
Correct word choice
and flower
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flower
Fix the agreement mistake
flowers
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receive
Verb problem
apply
show examples
.
Also
Linking Words
, the young
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childern
Correct your spelling
children
 cut amazing trees
such
Linking Words
 as
famous
Correct article usage
the famous
show examples
one
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 there.
In addition
Linking Words
, the number of cases in recent years much
Use synonyms
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
throw
Wrong verb form
throwing
show examples
 rubbish
for example
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 home and school.
For instance
Linking Words
,you should supply young
Use synonyms
childern
Correct your spelling
children
rols
Correct your spelling
with
 how to keep and save the planet.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, there
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 the most serious
problems
Use synonyms
west
Correct word choice
in Western
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time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
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 and social.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there was a wonderful solution for boys and girls how to save the planet.
The
Correct article usage
First
show examples
first,
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parents should
learn
Verb problem
teach
show examples
 their
Use synonyms
childern
Correct your spelling
children
 many
typs
Correct your spelling
types
. Take
for example
Linking Words
, if they
cleaning
Wrong verb form
clean
show examples
garden
Add an article
the garden
show examples
, it will be a great view and get power,
energy
Correct word choice
and energy
show examples
.
Also
Linking Words
,
the
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
child
Use synonyms
 should find themselves
to sikp
Verb problem
making
show examples
 mistakes
such
Linking Words
 as rubbish,
Correct word choice
and cut
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cut
Wrong verb form
cutting
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 trees. In conclusion, the
problems
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ob
Correct your spelling
of
show examples
 the
would
Correct your spelling
world
show examples
 that the most serious for
child
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labour
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. From my own personal point of view
Add a comma
,
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a lot of humans need more information
Use synonyms
child
Change preposition
on child
show examples
labour
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. It is better to exchange our experience about
this
Linking Words
 issue. If we
uesd
Correct your spelling
used
 modern education, we would get new information
a bout
Correct your spelling
about
show examples
save
Replace the word
saving
show examples
 the
problems
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the planet.
people
Capitalize word
People
show examples
 should do
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
better typs of life.
Submitted by shaikhaalrashidi24 on

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task achievement
Focus on addressing both the causes and solutions of child labor as the prompt asks. Ensure each idea is clearly explained and supported with relevant specific examples.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow of ideas within your paragraphs. Use clearer topic sentences and transitions between points. Ensure each paragraph has one main idea that’s fully developed.
coherence cohesion
Work on expanding ideas. Instead of listing problems and solutions, elaborate on each point to make your argument more persuasive. Use evidence and examples to back up your points.
task achievement
You have attempted to address both aspects of the essay prompt, identifying problems and solutions related to child labor.
coherence cohesion
You included an introduction and conclusion which shows a clear overall structure in your essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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