Some people think that family has the most powerful influence on a child’s development, while others think that other factors such as television, friend, music have the biggest effects. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

#people #influence #child’s #development #factors #television #friend #music #effects

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Many individuals argue that family plays the most significant role in shaping a

child

development

while

others believe that external

factors

such

as television, friends, and

music

exert a more substantial

influence

. I would argue that,

although

external

factors

can have an impact, the family remains the most powerful force in a

child

development

. There might be several reasons why some people believe that family has the most powerful

influence

This

means that parents and other family members are the primary sources of emotional support, values, and behaviour modelling for children.

For instance

, parents who actively engage in their

child

's education, enforce rules, and provide a nurturing environment often see their children excel academically and socially. The constant presence and guidance of family members create a foundation for the

child

's character and values. Despite the arguments mentioned above, others claim that external

factors

like television, friends, and

music

can have a more significant impact on a

child

development

In other words

, children spend a considerable amount of time interacting with peers, consuming media, and listening to

music

, which can shape their opinions, interests, and behaviour.

Such

exposure could lead to the adoption of trends, language, and habits that are distinct from those promoted within the family, highlighting the significant

influence

of external

factors

. In conclusion,

while

external

factors

such

as television, friends, and

music

undeniably

influence

child

development

, the role of the family remains paramount. Families provide the fundamental framework for emotional support and moral guidance, which are essential for a

child

overall

growth.

Therefore

, I maintain that the family has the most powerful

influence

on a

child

development

, despite the notable impact of external

factors

Submitted by eparfenenkov on Sat Aug 03 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Add more specific examples to strengthen your arguments, especially when discussing the influence of external factors like television, friends, and music.

coherence cohesion

Ensure every paragraph has a clear topic sentence to improve the coherence of your essay.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear and effective introduction and conclusion, making the overall structure easy to follow.

task achievement

You provide a well-balanced discussion by considering both viewpoints and expressing your own opinion clearly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

277 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

primary influence
development
instill values
norms
emotional foundation
social skills
role modeling
socioeconomic status
opportunities
resources
external factors
peer influence
teenage years
impact mood
cultural understanding
environment
role models
social media
shaping modern childhoods

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
some people think that ambition is essential for success. To what extent do you agree?
Several individuals believe that ambition is crucial for success. In this essay, I will provide the idea that ambition is part of the success factor, likewise other causes that contribute to the success of a person.
6.5
band
Although many people value public parks, some argue that this space could be better used for housing or businesses to support the growing population and economy. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
While the pressure for housing and economic growth is undeniable, I firmly believe that public parks should be preserved due to their crucial benefits for environmental sustainability and public health.
7
band
The rise of social media has affected personal relationships and society as a whole.Do the advantages of using social media for communication outweigh the disadvantages?
In this day and age , the impact of using networking sites on the internet such as Facebook and Instagram has many effects on personal relationships.This essay shows that the pros of using social media for life outweigh the drawbacks.
7.5
band
Some countries have introduced laws to limit working hours for employees. Why are these laws introduced? Do you think they are a positive or negative development?
In this contemporary era, employees are required to work limited hours as some laws are implemented by certain countries due to some drawbacks of working more hours and I view this trend as a positive one. I discuss the reasons why rules have been implemented and prove my side by providing some evidence.
4.5
band
Some people think young people are not suitable for important positions in the government，while other people think it is a good idea for young people to take on these positions. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Whilst a group of individuals contend the contion that promoting the members of the rising generation to an executive role in government organization would not be a prudent decision to make, others take an adverse approach which supports the delegation of high level positions to the young people. To the best of my knowledge and experience, having young minds pondering on the challanges of today's society can accelerate the advancement of technology, human welfare and education, therefore, I also resonate with the idea of hiring younger people for the senior governmental positions.

Some people think that family has the most powerful influence on a child’s development, while others think that other factors such as television, friend, music have the biggest effects. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

Fully explain your ideas

some people think that ambition is essential for success. To what extent do you agree?

Although many people value public parks, some argue that this space could be better used for housing or businesses to support the growing population and economy. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The rise of social media has affected personal relationships and society as a whole.Do the advantages of using social media for communication outweigh the disadvantages?

Some countries have introduced laws to limit working hours for employees. Why are these laws introduced? Do you think they are a positive or negative development?

Some people think young people are not suitable for important positions in the government，while other people think it is a good idea for young people to take on these positions. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.