Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#children #hours #smartphones #case #development

A lot of children over the world spend hours on a daily basis on their smartphone. Is it normal? What kind of influence on their development does it have? Negative or positive? Is it that bad as some parents think? In my personal opinion, it has its own advantages and disadvantages.

Although

I think that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages. Why? You may ask. Starting with advantages: first of all everyone should know how to use smartphones, and children are no exception, so that way they not only have fun, but

also

learn something new and important.

Nevertheless

they shouldn’t spend too much time in it, as there can be some consequences

such

as bad eyesight, stress, problems with communication, and maybe addiction. Nowadays one of the most serious problems so far - addiction to the gadgets.

Such

people usually have not only all of the above mentioned consequences, but

also

anger issue, which can affect a person’s personal and professional lifes, which is quite crucial, don’t you think?

That is

parents duty to measure their children’s mobile phone usage, as it was discovered earlier in the text, can be quite crucial for their life.

Although

it can be quite hard, because now the technologies are part of everyday life: online education, games, talking with friends, just finding some information in the internet. So it is not an easy task.

Overall

, I can say that children should spend some time in their mobile phones,

although

it should be measured by their parents, so that their child won’t have any mental or health problems.

Submitted by vova.yaschuk95 on Mon Mar 04 2024

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task achievement

To improve task response, ensure that you fully address all parts of the prompt. Make a clear stance on whether you believe the development is positive or negative, providing detailed explanations and specific examples to support your view.

coherence cohesion

For a higher coherence and cohesion score, structure your essay clearly with an identifiable introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and be linked to others through cohesive devices.

language

Use a wider range of lexical resources and sentence structures to express your ideas more precisely and engagingly.

coherence cohesion

Incorporate a variety of sentence structures and transition words to guide your reader through your essay smoothly, making your argument more persuasive and easier to follow.

task achievement

Provide more relevant and concrete examples to support your claims. Examples help to illustrate your point and make your argument stronger.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

263 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

smartphones
usage
technology
accessibility
convenience
entertainment
gaming
social media
communication
educational resources
addiction
dependence
negative effects
physical health
mental health

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Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Include an introduction and conclusion

When children start school , teachers have more influence than parents on their intellectual and social development. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Somepeopleprefertolivewitharoommate.Othersprefer to live alone. Compare the advantages of each choice. Which of these two options do you prefer? Use specific reasons to support your answer

Many students find it hard to pay attention at school. What are the reasons for this? What could be done to solve this problem

Nowadays, there are a large number of coffee shops and fast-food vendors on high streets and in town centres. Why are there so many of these outlets? What effect is this having on the society?

Some people say history is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like Science and technology are more important than history Discuss both these views and give your opinion.