The best way to solve the world’s environmental problems is to increase the cost of fuel. Do you agree or disagree with this view?

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Environmentalism is a major popular trend, particularly for the new generations of youngsters in the twenty-first century. Many argue that the most efficient way of preserving the
environment
is a surge in the price of fossil fuels and I cannot agree more. I wholeheartedly advocate that
this
strategy will lead to lower levels of contamination not only from cars but
also
from
factories
. On the one hand, a policy to spike the price of gas will introduce a critical juncture which has the potential of leading to less dependence on private vehicles.
For example
, if people figure out that they cannot afford the high cost, they would definitely entertain the idea of utilising affordable public transportation.
Furthermore
, since cars are a major source of contaminating the
environment
, as greater numbers of citizens get rid of their personal autos, there will be less pollution and air quality will improve tremendously.
Thus
, the fewer fuel-burning and contaminating combustion engines on the roads bring about a brighter prospect for air quality.
On the other hand
,
factories
are another overwhelming contributor that pollutes the
environment
immensely which will witness an enormous pecuniary hardship in order to afford the increased prices. If
factories
increase the efficiency of their fuel-burning engines, they can actively participate in preserving nature. Electricity manufacturing plants release hazardous contaminating pollutants into the air
while
their efficiency rate is below 50% globally,
for instance
. Enhancing the efficiency not only will result in more electricity production but
also
will lead to less quantity of released pollutants which are detrimental to humans and living species alike. In conclusion, I unequivocally endorse the adoption of
this
policy to increase the price of fossil fuels in order to achieve superior outcomes in preserving the
environment
and improving the health of nature including humans.
Nevertheless
,
this
approach results in fewer personal cars being used to commute every day and
also
will lead to the adoption of modern and more efficient equipment by
factories
.
Submitted by sajjad.talebi2020 on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay could benefit from slightly more explicit outlining of the structure at the beginning. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next to maintain flow.
task achievement
While your ideas are generally clear, some sentences could be more concise to enhance clarity. Always ensure each paragraph directly connects to the main argument for a more cohesive development.
task achievement
Your essay presents a well-rounded perspective supported by relevant examples, making your arguments compelling, particularly about the impact on personal car usage and industrial practices.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is strong, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion that cohesively advocate for your stance.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • disproportionately affect
  • renewable sources
  • solar energy
  • equity in environmental policies
  • exacerbating social inequalities
  • incentivizing
  • subsidies
  • strict regulations
  • industrial emissions
  • sustainable local production
  • carbon footprints
  • punitive measures
  • sustainability efforts
  • robust and lasting changes
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