Many people nowadays prefer online shopping. Is it a positive or negative development?

At present, whilst proponents shop through e-shopping to purchase their needs, opponents prefer in-store shopping.
However
, I am of the belief that e-shopping has become more popular than in-store shopping.In
this
essay, I will discuss both these views and give my opinion. First of all, in my opinion, it is better for customers to buy something on the Internet.
In other words
, one of the reasons is that customers are able to save time and effort when doing online shopping.
In other words
, online shopping is convenient for customers when they do shopping at home.
For example
, people can buy goods with any internet tool wherever they want, they do not have to go to physical
stores
when shopping.
Thus
, the traditional client has to spend their time to go
stores
and buying something.
Therefore
, there is no doubt online shopping has a positive point.
Furthermore
, online shopping has more different kinds of goods than physical
stores
.
This
means that there is a wide range of products available at online
stores
, which means that consumers can choose products from all over the globe.
For instance
, when it comes to clothes, sites of online shopping have not only domestic brands but
also
international brands.
Additionally
, people can buy international clothing at home with only a device over geographical barriers.
Hence
, what can be said is that it is convenient for consumers to buy goods at online
stores
. In conclusion, by presenting the above-mentioned points, it can be reiterated that online shopping with the innovation of technology is a constructive development because there are more advantages than disadvantages.
Therefore
, it is believed that shopping via the Internet concerns time, effort, and convenience.
Submitted by musab.private92 on

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grammar
Work on grammatical accuracy – avoid redundancy by not repeating phrases unnecessarily. For instance, "in other words" was used twice within close proximity.
style
Try to vary sentence structure to make the writing more engaging. Currently, many sentences follow a similar structure.
vocabulary
Use more sophisticated vocabulary and linking words to improve the language range and fluency. This will help in achieving a higher band.
structure
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
examples
Each main point is supported with relevant examples, making the argument stronger.
conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reiterates the writer's opinion, which aligns well with the prompt.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • instant gratification
  • rapid advancement
  • instant communication
  • online shopping
  • fast food delivery
  • social media platforms
  • immediate feedback
  • recognition and validation
  • efficiency
  • productivity
  • convenience
  • decreased patience
  • delayed gratification
  • realistic expectations
  • work ethic
  • unrealistic expectations
  • stress
  • dissatisfaction
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