IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development

In recent years, nations have become increasingly similar as people are able to purchase the same commodities
worldwidel
Correct your spelling
worldwide
. In my opinion,
this
Linking Words
 trend is a negative development because it leads to a decline in cultural
diversity
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 and negatively affects the
tourism
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 industry and national economies. The global spread of
products
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cause
Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
show examples
 cultures around the world to become more similar, resulting in reduced cultural
diversity
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. Ｗith the expansion of cross-border trade, international brands enter different
countries
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, allowing people to buy the same
products
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 almost everywhere.
As a result
Linking Words
, these global brands gradually replace local shops and
products
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, making people’s lifestyles increasingly alike across
countries
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.
Consequently
Linking Words
, many nations begin to
loss
Replace the word
lose
show examples
 their uniqueness, as
products
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 are a crucial part of culture, which eventually leads to a decline in cultural
diversity
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
countries
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 becoming increasingly similar can harm the
tourism
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 industry and have negative impacts on the
overall
Linking Words
 economy. One of the major motivations for travelling is to experience local cultures,
products
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 and food.
However
Linking Words
, when similar
products
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 and shopping experiences are available in many
countries
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, travelling becomes less attractive.
As a result
Linking Words
, fewer foreign tourists choose to travel abroad, leading to a reduction in
tourism
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 revenue. In the long term, decreased income from
tourism
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 may affect employment opportunities and slow down economic growth in
countries
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 that heavily rely on
this
Linking Words
 industry. In conclusion, for the reasons mentioned above, I believe that
countries
Use synonyms
 becoming increasingly similar is a negative development because it leads to a decline in cultural
diversity
Use synonyms
 and has a negative impact on national economies.

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Task Response
Be clear from the start. State your view in one sentence in the opening and keep it in the essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Connect ideas well with easy link words so the read flows, like first, next, but, also.
Language
Check for small spelling and grammar mistakes (for example, lose rather than loss; worldwide). Use simple forms.
Task Response
Add one clear example for each point to show how a claim works in real life, like how travel earns money or how local shops may lose trade.
Structure
Do not repeat the same point. Keep ideas new and focused.
Strength
The essay shows a clear view and two big ideas.
Strength
There is a steady flow of ideas and some linking words.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • globalization
  • diversity
  • homogenization
  • cultural assimilation
  • global connection
  • local businesses
  • economic impact
  • consumerism
  • standardization
  • westernization
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