Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Owing to the controversial issue of environmental challenges, some believe that the priority
outght
to be given to the extinction of specific types of plants and Correct your spelling
ought
animals
, while
others mention that we should draw our attention to more imminent dangers. I strongly agree with the second group and argue that all attentions
should be focused on the mortal Fix the agreement mistake
attention
pollution
problem.
On the one hand, it is understandable that we as humans have an obligation to prevent animals
and plants disappear
from the earth’s surface. Change preposition
from disappearing
Furthermore
, the disappearance for
certain plants and Change preposition
of
animals
will cause a perilous loss in diversity of species on our planet. Nevertheless
, this
phenemenon
can bring about Correct your spelling
phenomenon
disfunctions
in the standard procedures of our ecosystem. Meanwhile, Correct your spelling
dysfunctions
dysfunction
as a
result
we not only can witness pernicious effects Add the comma(s)
result,
to
the environment, but Change preposition
on
also
it has hazardous ramifications for human beings. For example
, humans eat certain animals
and if the species which these animals
receive their nutrients from go
extinct, human life can suffer and be the unintentional casualty of Change the form of the verb
going
this
process.
On the other hand
, another important point to consider is that our attention ought not to be diverted from the immediate and imment
environmental threats, namely the futile Correct your spelling
imminent
immanent
immense
pollution
. It is for
this
reason that the suffocating air pollution
, the mortal soil pollution
and the extremely threatening water pollution
should be given the top priority. Moreover
, they are not just detrimental to human lifestyle, but also
from a more holistic approach, the
can bring about devastating and unbearable costs to the healthcare system. Correct your spelling
they
For example
, the fruits and vegetable
being consumed Fix the agreement mistake
vegetables
everyday
are being affected by all Replace the word
every day
the
three types of aforementioned Correct article usage
apply
pollutions
and cause various illnesses. All and all, I rang the alarm bell for Fix the agreement mistake
pollution
the
society and Correct article usage
apply
demand
the government to put combating Wrong verb form
demanded
the
Correct article usage
apply
pollution
on top of its working agenda.
In conclusion, I unequivocally am of the belief that air, soil and water pollutions
constitute an existential threat not just to the environment, but Fix the agreement mistake
pollution
also
to the human civilization on earth. Notwhithstanding
the past efforts, governments are required to concentrate Correct your spelling
Notwithstanding
of
Change preposition
on
this
imminent danger and endorse combating pullution
in their official programs.Correct your spelling
pollution
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coherence cohesion
Work on improving the coherence within paragraphs. Some ideas were slightly unclear or disjointed, which affected the smooth flow of information.
task achievement
Include more specific examples that illustrate your points clearly. This can help to strengthen your arguments and make them more convincing.
language
Pay attention to minor grammatical errors and vocabulary usage. Sometimes using the wrong word can make it harder for the reader to understand your points.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, helping to frame the overall discussion effectively.
coherence cohesion
The main points were well-supported, showing a good understanding of the topic and an ability to build logical arguments.
task achievement
The task response was comprehensive and addressed both sides of the argument before giving a personal opinion.