In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative situation?

It is widely argued that having
a
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apply
show examples
full possession of a
home
or an apartment is far more significant than paying monthly income, in some areas around the world. It provides a sense of security and stability and I believe that it is a positive development.
To begin
with, there are some salient reasons why
owing
Correct your spelling
owning
show examples
a
home
is considered an important factor.
Firstly
, individuals who have full control over the house, give them a sense of security and stability. What I mean by
this
is that having a
home
can prevent you from excessive
amount
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amounts
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of money in the future. Not only it
helps
Wrong verb form
help
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you to save money but
also
provides full cover to your residential area which is not available when renting a
home
.
For instance
, people who buy homes in the early stage
,
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apply
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knows
Correct subject-verb agreement
know
show examples
that the price of a
home
can vary with time, and
as a
result
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result,
show examples
they can gain profit when selling out.
Furthermore
, In
term
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terms
show examples
of positive aspects, owning a
home
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
show examples
people a sense of autonomy.
This
is because most prefer to decorate their rooms
according to
their own taste without
taking
Verb problem
obtaining
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consent from
landlord
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the landlord
show examples
. These
includes
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include
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changing furniture, curtains, and portrait images.
For example
, there are some homes
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
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prefer to make changes after
certain
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a certain
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time of the year, to give
extraordinary
Correct article usage
an extraordinary
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look to their homes.
Thus
, all these major changes cannot be done when renting an apartment or
home
.
To conclude
, even though it is becoming a trend to become a homeowner rather than live
according to
the rules and
regulation
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regulations
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set by the landlord, I believe that freedom , security and stability cannot be implemented in a house
own
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owned
show examples
by someone else unless individuals buy themselves.
Submitted by abdulahad08600 on

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task achievement
Try to include more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. The essay mentions general benefits of owning a home but could use more concrete cases or statistical data to support these claims.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that all points mentioned in the introduction are covered in detail in the body paragraphs. This will make your argument more comprehensive and cohesive.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear and relevant introduction and conclusion, outlining the main points effectively.
task achievement
The arguments presented are logical and coherent, making it easy for the reader to follow your line of reasoning.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • ownership
  • renting
  • importance
  • sense of security
  • stability
  • financial investment
  • asset
  • customize
  • decorate
  • belonging
  • community
  • potential
  • future generations
  • long-term
  • cost advantage
  • control
  • living space
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